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Fail Friday: Super Nips

Ten real TSM submissions, three pictures, and one video that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

I work out in heals to break them in. TSM.
–Texas

So, what you’re saying is…you’re fat.

Pretending to be a crazy lesbian for the sake of your sister not getting a new roommate. TSM
–Arizona

Sounds like perhaps you’re doing a little less pretending than perhaps you’d care to admit.

Not even having to text your sisters about where they are because everyone uses the Find Friends app. TSM.
–Oregon

Nope. Feels creepy.

Everyone knows what I did last night when I ask for cranberry juice the next morning. TSM.
–Arizona

Stuck something dirty inside your vagina? I hope your yeast infection clears up.

Olympic diving. NS. Muff diving. TSM.
–Florida

Take a dive off a fifth story porch into oncoming traffic. Please and thank you!

I’m always a lady, but when hooligans are racing around the street at midnight I’m like a lion protecting her cubs!! They could run someone over! TSM.
–Montana

First of all…why do you have kids? Second of all, you let your kids play outside at midnight? That’s just bad parenting.

Dear TSM Intern, A sister of mine told me the other day when we were getting ready that my nipples were huge. They are about the same circumference as the bottom of a Vitamin Water. But that’s like fine right? I wear an F. So it’s like normal? Please help. Thanks.
–Missouri

If it takes you anywhere outside the parameters of 2-3 fingertips to cover one, you’re abnormal. So, I’m going to have to say your areolae are terrifying. Hope I helped.

Beer shits. NS. Coffee Shits. TSM.
–California

Only counts if it’s Starbucks.

I’d let Ryan Lochte raw dog me. TSM.
–Minnesota

I hear he gets around. You’re probably better off naming your vibrator after him like the rest of the under-sexed girls in this country.

Being mad your water broke because it got all over your favorite Lilly dress. TSM.
–Tennessee

What an inconsiderate fetus.


Craig’s List isn’t a recruitment tool we’ve utilized!


I thought Snooki ruined pickles for me. I was wrong.

Well, you know how to rhyme. So there’s that.

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