Fail Friday: Shacking with the American Dream

Ten real TSM submissions, and one video that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Saying goodbye to my graduating fuck buddies…one fuck at a time. TSM.
–New Jersey

There go all the fucks you gave. Literally.

Throwing up on your date at formal and still being hot enough for to sleep with you. TSM
–New Jersey

Not sure if this is a testament of how hot you are or how pathetic he is. Whichever helps you sleep…together at night.

Looking down your nose at the ladies who work at Planned Parenthood. TSM.

It’s funny because you’re the middle class skank with gonorrhea who couldn’t afford to go to a real doctor…but yeah, that makes sense.

Being banned from the same fraternity as your Big. Total Big/Little Move. TBLM. TSM.

FACT: The only reason a fraternity will BAN you from their house is if you are both annoying, and categorically unfuckable. So you are either heinous, have herpes, or you’ve both made it through more than 50% of the brothers.

Knowing your prettier than most of your sisters, but still treating them as equals. TSM

What! You STILL treat them as equals even though they’re not as pretty as you are! Everyone knows if someone isn’t as pretty as you are, they’re supposed to carry you around like Arabian royalty and feed you grapes.

Sitting right near the fraternity formal on the beach so you can pretend you’ve been to one. TSM.

Just pretend you’re looking around for Jess. There’s a Jess at every formal.

I like an all-American package: Red pubes, white dick, blue balls. TSM.


Hooking up with a sister’s boyfriend so she’ll finally believe he’s cheating on her. TSM.

So I guess you, uh, “took one” for the team, huh?

That instant connection you feel when you find out a sister has HPV too. TSM.
–New Mexico

Nothing connects two girls like an STD. Except perhaps the dick that gave it to them.

Getting “learn about the male g-spot through experience” drunk. TSM.

It wasn’t a good night unless you put your finger in a b-hole.

Not just a bad rapper…A bad rapper in bunny ears.

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