Fail Friday: Say No to Nom

Ten real TSM submissions and one video that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Taking a weedwacker to my thicket of borneo jungle pubes. TSM.

That can’t get you a very close shave.

That awkward moment when you realize the correlation between your weight problem and the fact that most of your facebook pictures are you with food. TSM.

I take pictures with my best friends too.

Looking 10 years younger than I am because of great genes and not botox. TSM

So….you look 9?

Making your fratdaddy go south when that time of the month. TSM.

Put a towel down and have mouthwash handy. You sicko.

The frat castle smells like bigfoot’s dick. Nom Nom Nom. TSM.

Anyone who uses the phrase “Nom nom nom” deserves to be devoured and then regurgitated by a beluga whale.

Name-dropping to link yourself with desirable people or groups and thus improving other people’s impression of you. TSM.
–North Carolina

Making a good impression on your own would be ludicrous.

I stopped by the fratcastle this afternoon and put a package of bacon in the fridge. Chances are I’ll be shacking with one of the brothers tonight and I want to make him a decent breakfast. TSM.
–South Carolina

This is one of the most pathetic things I’ve ever heard in my entire life. With that said, you’ll be sweetheart in no time. Congrats.

I have a vagina. I don’t need a resume. TSM.

Getting the position you want by getting into the position he wants. Smart.

If TSM was a Hogwarts house, it would be Slytherin. TSM.

I cringe at every mention of Harry Potter. Every single one.

Not being embarrassed when the moms at the country club have the same Lilly swimsuit as me because it lets me know I’m on the right life track. TSM.

They didn’t get there by looking like a 52 year-old woman when they were your age. Be embarrassed.

But the bottom line is….you’re spending your weekend in a dorm talking about us.

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