Columns

TSM Fail Friday: Hugging the Toilet

Ten real TSM submissions, five photos, and one video that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

I can relate to Hermoine. My mother is a muggle and my father was the President of Acacia. #mudblood TSM.
–Kansas

Nothing from Harry Potter has ever or will ever be an S-move.

Being beautiful and perfect on the outside, but rotten on the inside. TSM.
–Alabama

I’m perfect on the inside too.

When two sisters who want to be doctors can’t figure out what half of 74 is…TSM.
–Florida

It’s 37…Maybe medicine isn’t your calling.

My hair is crusty, I don’t know if it’s hairspray or throw up. TSM.
–Virginia

It could be something else…

We made out. Then I went home and threw up on my computer. Classy. TSM.
–California

Was Daddy mad that you fucked your computer up?

JUST TOOK A CHEM BREAK TO GIVE MY FRAT DADDY A BLOWJOB. TSM.
–Arizona

COSMSO SAYS ENTHUSIASM IS THE NUMBER ONE TURN-ON DURING FELLATIO! I CAN ONLY ASSUME THAT’S WHY YOU’RE YELLING AT ME!

Big/little reveal: can’t wash the bed sheets I wet last night because my roommate’s yack chunks are stuck in the washing machine. TSM.
–California

Yack Chunks. TSM.

Judging how hot you are by the guy your frat daddy hooked up with. TSM.
–California

So it doesn’t bother you that your boyfriend is gay?

I am Audrey Hepburn. TSM.
–Tennessee

Omg I’m a HUGE fan! I can’t believe Audrey Hepburn reads TFM!

During asshole “Mr. Obama? You might as well say Mr. Satan! For that, you must say fuck every time you speak, and drink every time you say fuck” & you fratdaddy. Btw, as vicepres I was called Ms. Palin with out asking. TSM.
–Ohio

Next time you want to speak, instead, don’t.


Thirsty for frat life?


Yeah, this isn’t creepy.


This makes me uncomfortable.


This seemed like a good idea at the time, I’m sure.


Poor girl…

No…just no…

Love,

TSM Intern

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