Every Pickup Line You’ll Ever Read On Tinder

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No matter how many times you readjust your settings or edit your own personal profile, you are bound to meet at least one of the following Tinder men as you peruse the many bios of young, single guys in your dating range.

1. The Emoji Guy
Perhaps the most harmless of all conversation starters, the cute smiley emoji that pops up in your inbox is endearing. Odds are, this guy is a total introvert and much too shy to start up a conversation, but really wants to talk to you. Go ahead and respond–he’s probably a sweetheart. Just be sure to avoid responding with an emoji of your own. Nothing’s more awkward than a 30 minute conversation that consists of nothing but 57 different emojis.

2. The “Hey Cutie” Guy
Even though this is little more than a simple “Hi,” you can’t help the blush that creeps up your neck and into your cheeks. Whether you know the person or not, it’s always flattering when someone calls you cute or just generally compliments your appearance–this guy knows it. Feel free to answer him. He’s probably a relatively normal guy just trying to strike up a convo with a cute girl. Well, as normal a guy as you can find on Tinder.

3. The “No Hablo Inglés” Guy
Upon receiving this message, the first thought that pops into your head is probably one like this: “Then why are you talking to me?” There is nothing more disappointing and confusing than when the super cute Julio informs you of this. It’s best just to ignore the message and move on. Within minutes, 20 other hot guys will flood your feed who actually can hablo Inglés.

4. The “Fancy Running Into You Here” Guy
Odds are, you probably already know this guy or you’ve at least seen him on campus. You decided to take the potentially awkward chance of “liking” his picture. However, if he’s messaging you, he clearly swiped right when he saw your pictures, too. Go ahead and get your flirt on, but just remember that you do actually know him, and what the two of you say or do via Tinder could spread across your campus like wildfire.

5. The “I Guess It All Starts With Hello” Guy
This guy is attempting to seem funny yet vague, failing miserably. His ambiguous greeting is laughable, but he’s most likely not a guy you have to worry about. Even if this kind of wistfulness isn’t your thing, feel free to respond with your own ridiculous salute such as, “And I suppose it will all end with goodbye.”

6. The “You Are Absolutely Gorgeous” Guy
Although you’re never one to shy away from a compliment, you can’t be certain if this guy is being sincere or just flat-out weird. Usually, he means it–he showers you with praise through the entirety of your conversation. However, it can definitely go either way with him. Proceed with caution.

7. The “Hello Beautiful” Guy
A combination of a number five and six, a number seven guy attempts at being bold, yet mysterious. There’s a 50 percent chance he’s being totally sincere and is a totally decent guy, but he could just as easily be a complete asshole who’s trying to find the fastest way into your pants. You can never tell with this guy. Tread carefully.

8. The “I Won’t Tell We Met On Tinder ;)” Guy
This guy might be one of the most confusing types out there. What exactly is this supposed to mean? It seems as if he’s trying to sound lighthearted and funny, but the winky face at the end is disconcerting. Does he mean he hopes to fall madly in love with you and one day introduce you to his parents, but also wants to keep the secret of how you met? Or does he mean he just wants to hit it and quit it, but will keep the origins of your meeting a secret due to his own embarrassment? When in doubt, you can either play it safe and not answer, or go ahead and respond.

9. The “You Are So Sexy” Guy
The epitome of “Well, that escalated quickly,” this guy is one to watch out for. You’re not sure whether you should feel insulted, flattered, amused, or just plain confused. You most likely experience all of these emotions, and then some. Odds are, he’s a cocky asshole who wants nothing more than to get into your pants. Don’t even entertain the idea of messaging him back. You’ll be thankful later when your roommate comes home in tears because the guy she spent days flirting with only wanted one thing, and it all started with “you are so sexy.”

10. The “Are You A Math Teacher? ‘Cuz You Got Me Harder Than Calculus” Guy
What? There are literally no words in the English dictionary that can describe how you feel. This is the worst kind of guy. He’s an overconfident, innuendo-laden moron who wouldn’t know how to actually satisfy a woman if he got slapped in the face with an instruction manual. Do not answer this guy. He’s not worth the two and a half minutes you’d spend thinking of a witty comeback of your own. Don’t give him the time of day.

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SratShitCray is a sophomore at a Florida University whose aspirations are to be determined....She's a pre-wed looking for her pre-med and can be found on the weekends with a Fat Tuesday cup in her hand passed out on the beach.

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