Drunk Dial Congress This Weekend (Not Your Ex)

Looking for fun weekend plans? You already plan on blacking out, so why not confront Congress in your drunken fury. The website has figured out how to solve the government shutdown — provide the numbers of random members of Congress, and have people drunk dial them until they give in.

It’s finally your chance to tell Congress, “Go home, you’re drunk,” except for the part where they already have gone home, and you’re the one who’s drunk. Not only is this website kind enough to provide phone numbers for you to drunk dial someone who you haven’t slept with, but it also gives you drink recipes and talking points. It’s basically your perfect party planner.

My personal favorite liquid concoction is “The Southern Congressman,” which is a fancy whiskey sour. You can also try “The Fancy Statesman” or the “Bloody Bastard,” among others. Once you’re done pregaming with political cocktails, you type in your phone number and you’re magically connected to a member of Congress. You can only hope that it will be someone hot, and that you’ll have a connection. What could be better than drunkenly sexting with a politician? Nothing. Just ask Sydney Leathers. After all, that Weiner is a real smokeshow of a situation.

Unsure what to say? You shouldn’t be, but if you’re having trouble constructing actual sentences in your drunken stupor, this site’s got you covered. Feel free to yell at them because you can’t watch an adorable panda, or tell them that they only had one job to do and they failed. You could even explain that if 200 sorority girls can agree enough to make a decision in a chapter meeting, Congress should be able to figure something out. If you’re looking to make a change, feel free to suggest a sisterhood retreat, because it seems like they could use one.

So, this weekend, instead of drunk texting your ex, take your aggressions out on Congress. They can’t even call you crazy, because they’re way more insane. Sure, you might not get the booty call you desire, but you’ll wake up in the morning knowing justice was served, instead of with a shameover. You’ll be able to guzzle Powerade knowing that you made a difference, and that’s what really matters. Use your blackout for good, instead of evil, by ending the government shutdown.

[via Drunk Dial Congress]


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Fleur de Lilly

Fleur de Lilly (@margaretabrams) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move and Post Grad Problems. When she's not corrupting her big's baby, she can be found decoding texts, gravitating towards raised surfaces, and spending time with her gentleman caller, Jack Daniels. She loves Lilly, Louisiana, and her lineage.

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