Don’t Be Afraid To Be Aggressive With Guys


After many morning-after conversations with my roommates, and direct quotes from the men on my sex list, it has been brought to my attention that I am a bit aggressive when it comes to men. And honestly I am a little shocked. It’s not that I have some weird fetish or lose every game of “never have I ever.” I just enjoy your run of the mill ass slapping, hair grabbing, nip sucking, slightly rough sex. But, the reviews are in:

“Damn, you’re aggressive!” –Boy 1

“I like having sex with you.” –Boy 2
I would have been fine with you leaving out “having sex with,” but I’ll accept the compliment.

“You’re always horny.” –Boy 3
Pot, meet Kettle.

“I had no idea you were so kinky.” –Boy 4
I believe you’re familiar with the phrase “lady in the streets, freak in the sheets,” no?

“You’re the best sex I’ve ever had,” –Leonardo DiCaprio
Okay, that one may have happened in a dream.

These repeated conversations with slams of hookups past met with the wide eyes and agape mouths of friends have led me to want to share some insight. Don’t be afraid to be a little aggressive. I am not saying to do something you’re completely uncomfortable doing, but it is okay to step outside of your comfort zone every once in awhile.

This aggressiveness also pertains to my attitude towards approaching guys. My noted 2AM text of choice is “let’s fuck.” Aggressive? Yes. Vulgar? Maybe. But is that not exactly what you and your man of the moment are going to be doing? Friends will say to me, “I wish I could just say that to a guy.” Hello, you totally can! No guy is ever going to complain about you being straightforward with him. Boys are stupid. They will appreciate you getting straight to the point. There really is no need to dance around the subject of having sex. Be blunt and get to it.

When it comes to the actual sex part, there are many ranges of aggressiveness. I would consider myself to fall on the tamer end of the kinky scale. And based off of the things previous hookups have blatantly said to my face, I think many boys would agree that it doesn’t take much for them to consider you good at sex. Try to squeeze in more than one position before he comes. Get on top for a little (if nothing else, it’s an excuse to skip the gym). Have him throw you into doggie. Show a little dominance. Let him recover and go for round two. God knows he probably finished before you the first time anyway.

Girls are allowed to have high sex drives too. We don’t have sex solely to please the guy; they should be pleasing us as well. Slap my ass if I’m wrong, but I don’t think any guy is going to complain about a girl wanting to have sex with them frequently. You should never be shamed or ashamed of either always wanting to have sex or having a lot of sex.

I’m not trying to claim to be some sex expert, because I am far from it. Just trying to say you shouldn’t be shy when it comes to sex. Be forward and ask for what you want. Maybe I’ve just lucked out in having a lot of good sex, but (almost) every guy I’ve slept with has come back for more. So, this approach has seemed to work for me.

If none of this is news to you, good for you, keep bragging about your sex life! I honestly might get a little jealous. If you’re shaking your head, slightly disgusted, you keep doing you too. I’m not the one who has to have strictly missionary sex with you.

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