Disney Princesses Explain What It’s Like To Be A Sorority Girl

How my 21st birthday starts:

How my 21st birthday ends:

When I try on my new formal dress:

When I learned that bobby pins go flat side up:

When I’m trying to beat other girls to the elevated dance surface:

What I look like once I get up there:

The transformation I go through when I get ready”

When my boyfriend first watched me get ready:

And when I take my makeup off at the end of the night:

When my post gets published on TSM:

Any time I pass something even slightly reflective:

After a perfectly delivered passive aggressive dig:

When standards tells me we have an upcoming “dry event”:

Trying and failing to leave the house because you keep forgetting everything:

When I get drunk and start crying to new girls about being a senior:

When I don’t meet a boy after a mixer:

Dusting the glitter off after big/little week:

When my friend doesn’t feel like going out:

When we go out and start rolling with the homies:

How fake I feel when we sing our recruitment song:

But when our recruitment song comes on at the bar:

Listening to PNMs I don’t care about during recruitment:

But when I got my bid:

The first time I saw a penis:

Giving a blow job now:

During my rival sorority’s Greek Sing performance:

When a creeper hits on me and I can’t find my friends:

When I’m drunk enough to think he’s cute:

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Veronica Ruckh

Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at

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