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Date Middle Tier Guys, Trust

frat

Tiers in the greek system are kind of like STDs. They exist, everyone knows they exist, but talking about them is kind of taboo and makes you sound gross. But the truth is, five of your pledge sisters have HPV, and you are either in a good sorority, a meh sorority, or an everybody-gets-a-bid sorority. Some girls refuse to date a guy in a fraternity “below” their own tier, but I’m here to tell you to stop that shit and date down. Three years in the Greek system have taught me the following truths.

First thing’s first: that incredibly hot guy is almost always an asshole. And of course, you fall for him, mostly because he’s hot and because high school taught you that ranks were more important than being a decent human, which is hard to shake. But in truth, he’ll treat you like shit, and you will desperately pine for him, and bitch to your friends that you deserve better than a guy who gets you kicked out of your own date function because he was too drunk and puked on your sister who now wants you to pay for her fugly romper (not happening, Ashley. He did you a favor.). And you do. And you know what’s better than the guy who looks good. The guy who is good.

The middle tier guy will worship the ground you walk on, because he doesn’t feel entitled to a goddess such as yourself. He won’t cheat on you with someone from your rival sorority. He won’t be looking for better, because he already realizes how lucky he is to have you. And the fact that there aren’t freshman constantly knocking down his door just because of his fraternity’s reputation will help you pass out at night. Don’t get me wrong, there will still be frat rats, but as long as you’re putting in some effort, they won’t be an issue.

Another secret? Middle tier fraternities are more fun. I know, I know, the administration and TV movies have told you that the best frats through the best ragers. Nope, no, and nah. When you are at the best fraternity, you have to spend half the night in the bathroom making sure your Becca highlight is still poppin’ and fighting the hordes of girls for the warm and most likely drugged jungle juice. At a less popular fraternity, there is always plenty of alcohol (you may even get a whole handle if you’re lucky) and you’re automatically one of the hottest girls there. Not to mention, your standards chair is already zoned in on all the girls in your sorority at the other frat’s party, so who is going to snitch if you drink half a bottle of fireball and puke in a bush? So in conclusion, get yourself a cute guy in a middle tier fraternity and reap the benefits of pledge rides and free liquor without the “sorry I fucked your little” texts.

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