Creepy Craigslist Guy Has A Message For Sorority Girl In Tuscon

Creepy Craigslist Guy Has A Message For Sorority Girl In Tuscon

Do you ever see a cute guy at like a coffee shop or something, make eye contact, and then freak out, because despite how much you say you want it, the idea of meeting a guy organically actually terrifies you? Same. But when I find myself in that situation, I do what normal people do, and text all my friends about how I just missed out on the love of my life, and accept that I’ll never see him again. Duh.

But in Tucson, Arizona, one man saw a sorority girl outside her house during rush, and just needed to try to reconnect with her, so we’re left with the grossest post I’ve ever read.

From Craigslist:

Saw you yesterday beside the house! I love tall girls with curvy butts and yours was amazing in those tight shorts. You have a lovely ass and I want to experience all of it. I don’t care about fucking you. I just want to lick your beautiful asshole in front of your sorority sisters. I’ll pull your panties down and you can squat over my face and let me work my tongue inside that sensitive opening. I’m an expert asslicker. Feel that magic!

Ew. Ew. Ewwwww. So much wrong with this, namely the fact that real people are out there thinking that sorority porn is real. If you don’t know anything about sorority porn, that’s probably just because you don’t work for a frat blog, so you’ve never accidentally clicked on a video about “hazing” only to realize it was an eat-out train.

Even if, by some strange chance, this woman reads this ad, and then wants to meet up with the ass eater, and get her booty licked, there is no chance something like this could ever go down in front of the chapter. I mean, it’s recruitment season for fuck’s sake. You can’t be known as the sorority that’s really into rim jobs. You just can’t!

Anyway, happy Sunday, folks!

[via Craigslist]

Image via Gil C /

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Veronica Ruckh

Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at

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