I thought bath salts were so 2012?
Linden Wolbert, a former residence director at Emerson College, decided to quit her job and become a mermaid. When I first read the story I assumed it went something like this…
Unfortunately no cosmetic surgery was required, and the world’s first Mermaidoplasty still has yet to be performed.
An avid SCUBA diver, free diver, and swimmer, she has always “had a magnetism to water.” Such a magnetism, apparently, that she’s decided to make a living by dressing up like a mermaid to perform at celebrity parties and wildlife fundraisers.
Wolbert actually had a 35lb, 6-foot-long mermaid tale created for her. The tail was a hydro-dynamic monofin with hand-crafted scales. It cost her about $15,000. She likes to go out into the ocean and dive as deep as she can, which I’m guessing is pretty deep because she can hold her breath for up to five minutes. I’m not sure what she does while she’s under the sea, but I’m guessing it’s a lot of fun, because as we’ve all been informed by the Disney classic, everything’s better down where it’s wetter.
Apparently, mermaids are a big trend right now. I don’t understand society’s obsession with mythical creatures, but it started with vampires, last year it was zombies, and now mermaids are the next big thing. Not everyone’s as crazy as our girl Linden, but she’s not the only girl sporting a big, glittery, mermaid tail. There is a much cheaper, everyday tail that the layperson can order for use in their at-home pools. It goes for about $200, and looks like a combination of a Disney store costume and a cheap prom dress. It seems they’re actually pretty easy to swim in, but as for walking, and not looking like a total dumbass, you’re shit out of luck.
I just don’t understand this whole concept. I know every little girl dreams of being something ridiculous when she grows up. I mean, come on, how many of us wanted to be princesses before Kate had to go and ruin everyone else’s chances? I know a ton of girls dream of being ballerinas and mermaids, but then they grow up, get their shit together, and realize life doesn’t always pan out that way. I, for one, used to dream of being a neurosurgeon’s wife, but now I think I’m going more the lawyer’s wife route. See? Priorities change, because life happens.
Image via Yahoo