“Crazy” is an Exaggeration

There are some things that we, as girls, do that guys just don’t understand. They see us as irrational and crazy, but that’s not the REAL me, and that’s not the REAL you. Only when we drink do we suffer from drunk texting syndrome, paranoia, and the occasional “I’m going to stalk you all night to find out what slut you are boning.” Now, I don’t think it is considered a personality disorder when it’s only triggered by alcohol, but it is definitely a problem. It can be is definitely embarrassing and can often be a deal-breaker (and even when it’s not a deal-breaker, we’re so worried that it will be that we over-apologize and get embarrassing in a whole new way). The guy being a complete asshole may also be a factor, but we can’t place all the blame on them. Fratty douche lords are all alike: they want sex and, often, despite a lack of relationship, we give it to them. When we’re sober, we realize the way to be a step above slampiece means keep our cool, take things slow, and leave them waiting. But most of that goes out the window the second we take our 5th tequila shot.

It is a scientific fact (probably) that the first thing to go when consuming alcohol is your judgment, so can we really be held responsible for our actions? 17 missed drunk calls is really only the equivalent of one or two sober text messages. Besides, if iPhones didn’t make it so damn easy to view your voicemail and recent calls, guys wouldn’t even notice and we wouldn’t have to deal with the embarrassment of waking up to his name being the only thing we see on our call log. But regardless, we spend the rest of the day thinking about ways so play it off. On some occasions we may even find the lady balls to apologize, but when the sun goes down and drinks come out, we relapse and that part of us mildly resembling Gloria from Wedding Crashers comes out to play.

So who is to blame? The men who drive us insane? The technology that makes it so easy to contact them? Or the surplus amount of vodka we drink on a regular basis? To be honest I don’t think it matters. Boys are too good looking, iPhones are too addicting, and alcohol is one of the main reasons we attend college in the first place. Changing our lifestyles just because we act a little unreasonable sometimes just isn’t an option. We only have a few years left in which this kind of behavior is acceptable. So sorry boys, you may think I am a freakin’ lunatic but just remember…the three reasons we act so crazy are also the three reasons you get laid.

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