1. What is your pet peeve?
The phrase “pet peeve.” It’s so cliché. Also clichés. Oh, and negative people. Also people who can’t make up their mind, they’re fucking idiots.
2. What drink can you never have again?
Anything pineapple flavored. It was absolutely ruined after my winter formal sophomore year when my date and I got so wasted that we didn’t even hear the fire alarm go off and we sat there eating while everyone started evacuated.
3. Who has the biggest dick in the office?
I’m not sure who has the biggest dick, but I’m pretty sure I have the biggest balls.
4. What is your opinion of Brexit?
It’s not lookin’ too good, huh?
5. Are you going to
give the TFM intern a chance?
No. The other day he asked if I knew where he could get some good binoculars because he swore he spotted a black-throated green warbler at The Greenbelt and wanted to see if he could find more. Joke’s on him, I know that the black-throated green warbler is indigenous to the Appalachian mountains. He can’t be trusted.
6. How do people react when you tell them you work at TSM?
7. What is your favorite drunk snack?
I have been known to wake up next to a half eaten pizza. Although, that is not the worst thing I’ve woken up next to.
8. Who do you think is going to win The Bachelorette?
If Chad doesn’t come back and commit mass murder, my money is on Jordan, but Wells is my favorite. I hope Wells doesn’t win so I can have him. If anyone knows him, please let him know I am here and I am ready for love.
9. What is your biggest regret?
Not dying my hair blonde sooner. I was blonde as a kid, so I feel like I’ve taken on my true form.
10. What advice would you give your 16-year-old self?
Relish in how hot you are. It gets way, way, way, way worse.
11. Is anyone in your family in Greek life?
My younger brother is in a frat. My mom was an athlete in college and my dad went to clown college at first, and Greek life wasn’t very big there.
12. Would you rather suck the same dick 1000 times or 1000 dicks one time?
Same dick, all the way. Gotta keep the number low and the stamina high..