1. What’s a day in the life like?
Roll in fashionably late and head to my desk. I check Twitter and Instagram, write a couple #relatable columns, then head to the break room with the other girls. We gossip about our lives for a little bit before grabbing our laptops to work from the break room. On Fridays, we have catered lunch and always go out to happy hour afterwards.
2. What’s the best part of working at TSM?
This is a tough one, but I’d have to say the best part of working at TSM is being allowed to tell dick jokes in front of your bosses. I would not survive in a real office.
3. What’s the worst part about working at TSM?
The worst part about working at TSM is it’s literally the best job ever and I don’t have anything to complain about when my friends are bitching about their shitty interns. I just want to fit in.
4. What color is your desk?
5. What’s the TFM intern like?
Just to give you an idea, every day at 4:20 PM, he leans over and says “420 blaze it” and passes me an invisible blunt.
6. Is being an intern like being a pledge?
It always sucks being the new girl, but they’ve all been really nice to me. The TFM intern has a bunch of bitchwork to do though. This is him refilling our Diet Coke fridge like the bottom feeder that he is:
7. What does the eggplant emoji mean?
8. Are frat guys douchey postgrad?
The guys have intense games of ping pong in the break room with running records and stuff, so yeah, they’re pretty much the same.
9. Why did you rush?
Originally, I didn’t want to rush because I had this superficial view of sororities and I never saw myself as one of those girls, but I stumbled upon a Meet The Greeks event at my school and met the girls and thought fuck, I’m totally one of those girls.
10. What’s your go-to karaoke song?
Either Don’t Impress Me Much by Shania Twain or Golddigger by Kanye West. Depends on my mood.
11. What’s it like having Veronica as your boss?
It’s like having you’re big as your boss. She’s super fun to hang out with but you’re always trying to make her proud of you. Except your big can’t fire you if you can’t write a good blow job joke.
12. Why is your name Srat Bro?
My favorite frat at my school gave me the nickname ABH which was a play on my real name and also stands for “A Bro and a Half.” The persona kind of took on a life of it’s own after I roasted them during their sweetheart competition.
Stay srat, bitches..