Confessions Of A GDI

Confessions Of A GDI

I’m not a sorority girl. I don’t proudly wear letters. I don’t have girlfriends to shop with, go to the movies with, drink with, and mix with. I don’t look forward to going back to school after breaks, because I know I’ll be reunited with the women who will most likely be my bridesmaids when I finally marry that perfect Brooks-Brothers-wearing, golf-playing, future-attorney I’ve been dreaming about since before I could talk. I’m not one of you. I’m an outsider.

Let me explain. When I was in high school, I knew there would be girls who would immediately go Greek in college. I knew that within weeks of being in college, I would see pictures on their Facebook pages of them doing their sorority squat, arms thrown around blondes with those fabulous Red Solo Cups in their perfectly manicured hands. I thought I didn’t need that. I thought being part of that was silly. Now, I realize I didn’t understand. I didn’t try.

Sitting in one of my freshman classes, I saw a sticker on someone’s laptop that had Greek letters on it. I asked her about it, and she told me that it was one of four organizations on campus. She asked if I was interested in Greek life, and told me I should learn more about it. The girl next to her emphatically agreed that being Greek was one of the best things she had done in college. But I was a naive little freshman, and said I didn’t think it was for me.

Weeks went by. I had confined myself to a world where I would be alone in my room, watching some stupid movie I’d seen hundreds of times instead of going out and enjoying what older people had deemed the “best years of my life.” I thought I would have plenty of time. When spring recruitment rolled around, I was stuck in a group of girls who had nothing to say during each round. I went to the office of student engagement after the first cut, and, to my great surprise, was heartbroken when I learned I hadn’t been invited back to any of the chapters.

Now, as a GDI, I’m banished to the outside, where the closest I’ll get to hearing sorority chants on bid day is when I’m awoken to them early in the morning from my room across campus. The closest I’ll get to those Greek letters is when I see them on the girl wearing them with pride in one of my classes. I’ll see the lavalieres and the patterned totes that I so long to own, but I’ll never have them. The closest I’ll get to learning anything about sororities and the wonderful world I’ve lusted after is what I see on Facebook through the limited interactions I have with women who are already members of organizations I once deemed unnecessary for me.

Year after year I troll social media, preparing myself for the notifications of many sorority girls on campus welcoming their new members. “Welcome to the Best sorority on campus! We’re so lucky to have you!” I watch members friend girls on Facebook, watch them as they go through their new member processes, and feel a pang of jealousy when I see new updates about how they have “the BEST pledge class ever!” I’m relegated to watching my relatives become a part of this world, see them form bonds with their sisters (while reassuring me that they will never love their littles as much as they love me) and face the fact that I will always be on the outside of this world I once told myself I didn’t need to be a part of.

Editor’s Note: We commend your honesty! This made us truly appreciate what we had in college, and from the bottoms of our hearts, we encourage you to go out for recruitment again next year. If that’s not an option, know this: while we loved our sororities, we know there are other ways to get involved on campus and make the most of your college career. We encourage you to do so! Chin up, pretty girl. -TSM Staff

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