One of my favorite things about going out on the weekends is the two hour process of transforming my face from a freckly bag of milk to a perfectly contoured mask of lies. Don’t be fooled, people – this bone structure cost me about $140.00 and a whole lot of faith. If you’re like me and you’ve perfected the flick of the wrist, grab your brushes and sponges, because butt contouring is now a thing. Cosmopolitan posted a how to video showing how to get a whole different kind of cheek highlight.
You might think this is going a bit too far, but think of the possibilities: Skip a week at the gym? No problem. Part of the long-bottom club? Grab some bronzer for an automatic perk.
Or maybe not. Worst case scenario, you sweat it all off in the bar and look like you have a skin problem. Or, when you sit down to take a break, you leave a beige assprint on the seat, giving yourself away and embarrassing yourself beyond belief. No worries. Just order another vodka soda lime and call it a loss. .
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