Damn you, Zooey Deschanel for making “adorkable” a thing. Damn your quirks and your inability to behave like a normal human being. I like “New Girl” as much as the next person, but the character of Jess is one of those people who I’ll watch and be entertained by, but would never, ever want to be. There is a rising trend among women that makes being awkward and weird seem cool, and it’s masquerading under the guise of “accepting who you are.” Well if that’s you, who you are sucks. I know. I used to be you.
At one point in my life, i.e. rock bottom, I was the queen of the dorks. I had it all: braces, pimples, transitions lenses in my glasses (don’t tell me those weren’t practical!), and zero grace, charm, or game. By the grace of Queen Bey, I grew out of it. I got less goofy looking, and eventually got totally hot. But there’s more to life than being hot… not much more, but there is.
I remember the first time I ever watched the movie version of Pride and Prejudice. There’s one scene that has defined the type of woman I’ve wanted to be ever since. The bitchy ginger girl is listing off all these talents and traits a true lady has to have, most of which were only applicable in their era, but bear with me. But boss queen Lizzie Bennett’s response could not have been more perfect when she said, “I have never seen such a woman, but I’m sure she would be a fearsome thing to behold.”
I wanted to be that woman. That fearsome, intimidating, impressive woman. She may be a thing of fiction, but I wanted to get as close as I could. And I’ve tried. I’ve tried to pick up random skills and talents, some of which stuck, others were disastrous failures. But above all, I’ve tried to be fierce. Not like in a scary way, but in a way where I don’t laugh at people’s jokes if I don’t think they’re funny. I don’t like their Instagram pic if I don’t actually like it (yeah, I’m that bitch). I say exactly what I want to say, and I never back down if someone confronts me. It’s made some people like me and others hate me. But it’s made all of them respect me.
Awkward is not cool, regardless of what Taylor Swift is trying to make us believe. The point of growing up is, hopefully, growing into the best version of yourself you can be. So settling for being awkward but “cute” for the rest of your life isn’t ok. It isn’t enough. Awkward people don’t get taken seriously when it really matters, and girls who describe their personality as “quirky” or God forbid, “adorkable” are the bane of my existence. Sure, sometimes people may think I’m a bitch, but as Tina and Amy have said, bitches get shit done. If I talk, people listen, because I at least look and sound like I know what I’m talking about.
Beyoncé didn’t turn into Queen Bey by being “adorkable.” Kate Moss isn’t a legend because she’s “cute.” Anna Wintour didn’t make it to the top by being “quirky.” Kate Middleton didn’t snag a prince by being an awkward klutz. Each of these women made it to the top by being the best versions of themselves. They didn’t just hold themselves to a higher standard, they became the standard.
So don’t settle for being awkward. Evolve into the fiercest version of yourself you can be. I promise you it’s worth it. .