Yesterday, an audio recording of Kanye West slamming Taylor Swift and Pink (verbally, not sexually, though wouldn’t that be news?!) was leaked. It is said to be taken the night of the 2009 VMAs. And it.is.everything.
As you may remember, four years ago, Kanye famously proclaimed “Hey world, I’m a fucking asshole!” by marching on stage during Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech for Best Music Video, grabbing the mic from her, and incoherently yelling that Beyoncé should’ve won. You may or may not recall the words “”Yo, Taylor. I’m really happy for you, Imma let you finish, but Beyoncé had one of the best videos of all time. One of the best videos of all time!”
After the public humiliation at the hand of a man who parades around in skirts, Taylor Swift likely went behind stage, cried until her winged mascara smudged, leaving her unable to open her squinty eyes, then alternated between stabbing a stuffed animal and penning a song about being picked on.
As for Kanye West? His stage outburst was just the beginning of it. Following his essential trespassing of the MTV Stage, West decided that despite having consumed enough alcohol to shame Dina Lohan, he should absolutely go out in public and continue bashing nineteen-year-old girls.
West apparently went to dinner with a group of friends and elaborated on his true feelings for Taylor Swift. One of the members of his posse, likely tired of his ramblings (and Kanye West in general), was a sneaky little bitch and recorded Mr. West’s highly intelligent and eloquently stated opinions. The rambling, a combination of alcohol, ego, and full-on crazy, produced the following:
“I’m pushing the envelope! I wrote my fuckin’ ‘Run This Town’ verse for a fuckin’ month! When I heard Eminem’s verse on the Drake shit, I went back and rewrote my shit for two days. I canceled appointments to rewrite! I fuckin’ care! You know what I’m saying? And that’s what I’m saying. Because I did that, Taylor Swift cannot win over Beyoncé! Because I wrote my verse in two days, Taylor Swift cannot beat Beyoncé. As long as I’m alive! And if I’m alive, kill me then! Kill me then! As long as I’m alive, you gon’ have to deal with it. ‘Cause there ain’t gonna be no more motherfucking Elvises with no James Browns.”
Exactly what I was thinking, Yeezus. You rewrote your lyrics in two days. Thus, Taylor Swift cannot beat Beyoncé. As someone who got a C- in logic her sophomore year, that makes perfect sense to me.
The recording didn’t stop there. Oh no, West had had enough with the girl who grew up on the Christmas Tree Farm (for real), and decided to pick on someone his own size. Enter Pink.
“It ain’t no love. What the fuck was Pink performing? Don’t nobody know that song. Pink performed twice! Two songs? How the fuck Pink perform two songs and I didn’t even get asked to perform “Heartless.” “Heartless” is the biggest song of the year! It had the most spins of the first quarter! I don’t know that Pink song! But I noticed that she’s pink!”
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the voice of our generation. Thank you Mr. West, insightful as always.
To hear the full audio recording for yourself, CLICK HERE.
Image via Gawker