I don’t munch box. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with it, it’s just not for me. BUT if death came tapping on my shoulder and was like “Hey Rach, you have to eat some vag or you’re getting the boot” then I would hands down, head-first, munch Amy Schumer’s box all day every day.
Her humor. Her personality. Her zero-fucks attitude. She’s the epitome of a revolutionary woman in comedy. Not only does she make us laugh at the most serious topics, but she makes men appreciate the fact that women can be funny. That we’re more than a pair of tits and some bleach blonde hair and for that, I love her. Then, this morning, I woke up to a picture on her Instagram (because yes, I follow her like the creep that I am) and what did I see? Only the most beautiful moment captured on digital film since the invention of the camera (too lazy to Google the date, but trust me, it was awhile ago).
I. KNOW. Let’s just take a moment to appreciate the facial expressions.
Kim’s says: “I don’t understand what’s happening but I’ll just smile through the Botox.”
Kayne’s says: “No. No. No. Fuck this bitch. No.”
And Amy’s says: “I’m not worthy ohhh Lord of the World, West.”
The best part is, this was at the “Time 100” Gala. A place where the most respected people (read: Kim and Kayne) gather to receive praise for all that they do. This year, Amy was one of the 100 honored people. And this year, she made the event her bitch. According to Time, Amy “Saw them and said to my publicist, ‘Can I pretend to fall?’ and she said, ‘I can’t stop you.”
And so, there you have it. It looks like I’m going to have to munch some box, because I’m officially dead..