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All is Fair in Love and Littles

You love your pledge sisters. You do everything together. You’ve seen each other through late nights and early mornings of “highly suggested” pledge activities, and have spent hours (and countless boxes of wine) scrutinizing texts from new frat boys. So what’s the one thing that can turn girls these close against each other? A new pledge class: your future littles.

If you’re a part of sorority life (or have read anything on this site, ever) you already know how sacred and special it is to have a little. A little is someone who comes into your life and never walks out. They offer you a lifetime of unconditional love and friendship in return for the one semester you spent spoiling and obsessing over them in a way a borderline lesbian with a pending restraining order might. Because of this, we have high expectations for the new girls when they arrive and picking one out of the bunch to be yours can be nerve-wracking. Of course, the shiniest hair and the kindest smiles immediately stand out to everyone, and things can get competitive fast between who can fill up their schedule and think of the most creative girl dates. It sounds intimidating, but don’t worry. There are some do’s and don’ts that will help you get through littling season with a fabulous new addition and your dignity and relationship with your own pledge class intact.

DO: break the dry rule

Most chapters have rules against the new girls drinking during their pledgeship or at least doing so with active sisters. I say, break this rule. Drinking is one of the best ways to loosen up and bond with others (why do you think bigwig execs go out drinking with clients and we drink wine on dates?) and you can only get to know someone so well over small talk at an ice cream social. Sororities aren’t just about drinking, but they are, well, a lot about drinking, and it helps to have someone by your side that can hold her own at pregames, date parties and mixers.

DON’T: make promises you can’t keep

Empty promises tend to be made while we’re breaking the dry rule. New girls are usually freshmen who are less adept at holding their alcohol and more prone to ramble inappropriately than you are, so while you should be going out and getting to know them, you should NOT be promising anything or discussing the selection process. One new girl I had been spending time with was also invited to our brother fraternity’s bid party, and she came right out and asked me to promise to be her big. I was totally caught off-guard when I accidentally giggled and yelled “OKAY, YAY!” She was fabulous, but I already had someone in mind for my number one spot, and it got kind of awkward after reveal when I had clearly not kept up my end of the bargain.

DON’T: talk about “the list”

Discussing the list is one of our biggest faux pas. If you got your number one choice and you are absolutely positive that you were hers as well, then feel free to gloat. Privately. If not, DO NOT EVER bring it up. Drunkenly, soberly, whatever. Try not to even talk about it with sisters in your own pledge class, because you never know which of your sisters secretly wanted your little, which new girls preferred your friend over you, etc. We’re better off not knowing.

DO: Be yourself, and be a good friend

Follow these rules and you’ll click with the right person without too much effort. Don’t be fake…you want your little to know and love the REAL you. Be a nice person that they know will be there in a pinch. Let them borrow your old notes if they have a test coming up. Drive them to the mall if they need a new dress for this weekend. Deliver them treats at the library. Just be kind, and they will come. Trust.

DON’T: take twins

I’ll probably get a lot of backlash for saying this, but I really advise against taking more than one little. First of all, we spend an ENORMOUS amount of time and money on just the one. I literally didn’t sleep and hardly went to class the week leading up to reveal. Between all of the crafting, baking, painting, shopping, dorm-decorating, gift-wrapping, crafting elaborate lies to keep her on her toes and coordinating the schedules of your hot guy friends to do deliveries, it’s seriously tiring. I don’t know what I would have done if I had two. In my experience, every time someone has taken twins they end up being much closer to just one down the road, likely the one they’d have put first had they been forced to choose. That, or one disaffiliates or is an anti-social weirdo. Call it the curse of the twins, if you want.

So, there you have it. Don’t be a catty psycho, don’t outwardly claim anyone, and don’t do or say anything that can backfire on you. Be nice, be yourself and be outgoing and you’re sure to find your perfect match! If you’re getting a little this semester then good luck, and I hope you love her as much as I love mine.

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