Crafting. In my mind, the word brings forward photos of impeccable paddles, clothing hand-stitched with letters, and beautifully bejewelled boxes all worthy of Pinterest. In fact, I’m sure that’s where all my “original” crafting ideas would originate–if I had an account.
In reality, I cringe at the thought of having my ink-stained fingers ruining freshly painted white letters, or crooked arrangements of pearls meant to spell out a sister’s name that end up looking unrecognizable as English, or having two different shades of red on my Big’s paddle.
I have been an initiated sister for almost four months and I have not yet crafted. This has been through no fault of my chapter or my sisters–we’re actually having our first crafting night very soon. I have been personally procrastinating on a rather large project though. Namely, a paddle for my big.
Honestly, once I received my big, I had no idea that there were expectations of littles. Since I am an only child, I was looking forward to being a younger sister and being taken care of by someone else for a while. Life was wonderfully busy before sorority life but being a sister requires a significant time commitment and I was attracted to the concept of having someone to lean on when I was falling over due to pressure and work.
It took a while for me to adapt to having not just a big but a twin, too. My family gradually became close (we’re a really cute family now–we have matching scarves and everything) but our slowly forged connections allowed me to put off crafting anything.
Christmas came and went, and I bought them chocolates and little gifts. I even wrote each of them unique poems, but still no crafts. During winter break, I resolved to go paddle supply shopping. Once I entered the store, I never wanted to leave. Somehow, joining a sorority unleashed my inner Martha Stewart and I wanted to craft everything. I wanted to create flower arrangements, assemble scrapbooks, and paint despite my complete lack of visual artistic talent. I came away with a bag full of supplies and an ambitious mindset; I resolved to complete my big’s paddle before the end of break.
The bag full of paint, pearls, and brushes sat expectantly next to my bed for several days. Every night I would look at it and promise myself that I would begin to work on it the next day. It truly was procrastination at its finest, because I desperately wanted to start crafting but the rest of me was utterly terrified. I had visions of picking up a brush, painting a small stroke and somehow making the entire paddle come apart in my hands.
Fear of failure and disappointing myself and my big (although I know she would adore anything made with love) kept that bag beside my bed. I have decided to make my first formal foray into the crafting world over spring break but hopefully our sisterhood crafting night will give me ideas. For now, I’ll just reflect upon the perfect plan I have sketched out for the paddle and dream of the day when I will have that stretch of floor back for storage.