Adele’s “Hello” Rewritten To Express The Emotional Journey Of Dealing With A Problem Pledge


The problem pledge is something every chapter must face at some point. She’s loud, she’s drunk, she’s gives zero fucks about the rules, and no one really knows why she’s stuck around this long. She’s difficult and feisty, but she’s still your pledge. You try and teach her as best you can, and hope she changes at least some of her more destructive ways. This (rewritten) song is a completely accurate description of what it’s like trying to deal with the problem pledge.

Hello, it’s me,
I was wondering if after Bid Day you’d like to meet,
To go over everything.
They say the pledge mom’s supposed to teach ya,
But she ain’t done much teaching.

Hello, can you hear me?
I’m a junior whose dreaming about who I used to be
When I was younger and pledging.
I’ve forgotten how it felt when all the boys fell at my feet.

There’s such a difference between us,
And a million fines.

Hello from the other side.
I texted you a thousand times.
To tell you, seriously, you need a makeover,
Because most nights, you never seem to be sober.

Hello from the outside
At least I can say that I’ve tried
To tell you the whole chapter is pissed,
I’m not kidding, all the lessons, you clearly have missed.

Hello, how are you?
It’s so typical of me to be aggressive, I’m sorry.
I’m just trying to help.
Did anyone ever tell you can’t wear letters until initiation?

It’s no secret that the both of us,
Are not sisters yet.

So hello from the other side.
The President said a thousand times,
You are always wearing your letters,
But we haven’t seen you try to act any better.

Hello from the outside
I was so blacked out that I cried,
And told you to not hook up with that boy,
He’s my ex, but clearly, you’re a bonafide whore.

Hello from the other side
Your pledge mom yelled a thousand times
To tell you there’s no alc in our home,
But before chapter, I saw you take a shot to the dome.

Hello from the outside.
At least we can say that we’ve tried,
To recruit the best girls, but you must have slipped through,
And after initiation, I guess we’ll have to love you.

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Ali Hin

A born and raised Jersey girl, she can always be found covered in sand and pizza sauce. Her personal brand is "that girl." She prefers wine in bottles because she thinks outside of the box. Send fan mail to or by smoke signal.

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