A Letter To My Big As She Prepares To Graduate

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Where to even begin? Never in a million years did I think I would receive everything my sorority has given me. The idea of being loved unconditionally for exactly who I am by more than 70 women never occurred to me before this year. After all, I was never the one who wanted to surround myself with girls. Being friends with guys was way easier and drama free–no backstabbing, no gossiping, no stress.

But little did I realize how much I was missing in my life until I joined my sorority this past fall. Being a part of a sorority is more than parties, “social status,” and wearing letters. It’s knowing your sisters have your back through thick and thin. It’s about rituals and the history of your sisterhood. It’s about bonds that can never be broken. It’s finding yourself in a group of women who all have different and unique personalities. It’s community service, fundraising, helping those in need, and setting an example for others to live by. It’s finding soulmates–true soulmates–who understand you in a way you never knew existed.

And then there is your big. The one who took you under her wing. The one who spent hours crafting for you to make sure everything was perfect. The one who lied to you for weeks just to make sure reveal would be the biggest, but greatest, surprise. She’s the one you go to when you just want to cry about how stressed you are. She’s the one you call when you just need someone to listen. She’s the one who knows exactly what you are feeling; she knows how to put a smile on your face no matter how much you want to scream, cry, or hide in a hole for the rest of your life. She listens to what you have to say. She knows you’re lying if you say “I’m fine.” She understands you in a way you didn’t think was possible. She’s more than just your big–she’s your best friend and your soulmate.

And you just met. You’ve only known her for six months. But isn’t it funny how you just KNOW when you meet someone? You just know she will be in your life forever. You share a connection with her that you don’t share with anyone else. Distance can never break the bond you have with her–physical distance can never break an emotional bond. You are soulmates, remember? You are never truly away from her, no matter the miles that separate you.

Sure, she may have to leave because of graduation, but don’t let that scare you. Let’s be honest though. I was (and still am) terrified of her leaving. But then I finally realized it’s okay. She needs to be her own person; she needs to find herself. She will never be more than a phone call, text message, or FaceTime chat away. And Lord knows if I needed her, she would be by my side as soon as she could get to me.

And that’s why I’m okay with it now. I have to be okay with it. Yes, growing up sucks and time moves way too fast, but because time moves so fast, savor that time you have left with your big. We need to take advantage of these opportunities while we still can.

I love you, Big. You are my mentor, role model, guardian angel, protector, best friend, and soulmate. You are loyal, faithful, compassionate, genuine, goofy, empathetic, loving–the list is endless. No one can ever or will ever replace you. As you go your own way, remember I am your biggest supporter and your number one fan. I will ALWAYS be here for you through anything and everything life throws at us. We are in this together. Today, tomorrow, forever: big and little.

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I wear my letters on my front because I know my sisters have my back.

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