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A Letter To A Girl With An Eating Disorder: It’s Time To Admit That You Have A Problem

Time To Admit That You Have A Problem

The sun is up. The sky is blue. It’s beautiful. And so are you. -The Beatles

Hi beautiful,

What a week it’s been huh? Maybe you’ve noticed that people have been talking about Eating Disorder Awareness a lot. At first you brushed it aside like you normally do when the topic of weight comes up. Despite the fact that your body is an all-consuming thought in your head, you can’t bring yourself to speak up in conversations. What if they said something? What if they found out? So you couldn’t risk it.

Because honestly, it’s not like you have a problem. Sure, you care about your weight, but it’s not an issue. You count calories, but it’s only to make sure that you don’t put in more than you burn off. It’s science, it’s healthy, and it’s something you feel passionate about. When you’ve eaten a little too much, you might have purged. But you don’t do it all of the time. For the most part you’re healthy, and you don’t have to throw up what you eat. But sometimes, sometimes you eat the pizza, drink the shake, or devour the cookies, and you feel disgusting. Sometimes the thought of food alone makes you feel horrible.

The control makes you feel better.

I know. The counting, the eating, the remorse, the purging, the exercise, the throwing away, the insisting that you’re not hungry. I know. And not just me. 30 million other people are currently in the same position as you. The fascination with food, the need to exercise, the longing to be thinner. What if I were to tell you that it doesn’t have to be like that? I know that sounds insane right now. But it isn’t. There’s a way that you can be healthy, and still go out with friends, enjoy a meal that has carbs, and not have to worry about running to the bathroom or working out compulsively to burn off the calories.

Because right now? It’s not working. Sure, you’ve lost the weight, but you’ve also lost something else: Your life. Why should you have to always be on edge when the topic of food comes up? Why do your friends get to eat a slice of cake, but you can’t? Why do you have to be the one who can’t join in? Do you know what? You don’t. It’s been a long time coming, but it’s finally time. It’s time to admit that this isn’t right. That you don’t need to feel bad about yourself. That you want to stop counting calories and actually start… living.

It’s time to admit that you have a problem.

It’s the hardest thing in the world to do, and right now? It seems impossible. But I promise, you can do this. Aren’t you tired of constantly worrying about your weight? Tired of being on this wheel of feeling hungry, then feeling guilty? Tired of looking in the mirror and feeling bad about yourself? You can live a life where you eat what you want, look awesome, and not have to worry if you indulge every once in a while. The first step? Admitting that it’s time. Admitting that something needs to change. Admitting that you need help.

That doesn’t mean giving up. That doesn’t mean becoming fat. That doesn’t doesn’t mean failing. And that doesn’t even mean being labeled as this or that. It means you love yourself enough to become healthy. You can still be fit. You can still care about your body. You’ll just be able to relax a little more, worry a little less, and be a whole lot happier.

So please, please take that step. Talk to a family member. Call the number below. Email the National Eating Disorder Hotline. Email me. Anything. Because you deserve better than living a life filled with counting, obsessing, and avoiding things you love. You deserve a life filled with happiness. Filled with confidence. Filled with health and beauty. Because honestly? You’re the most beautiful person in the world, and it’s time you realize it.

Love,
A recovered anorexic-bulimic

 

If you (or someone you know) are struggling with an eating disorder, call (630)-577-1330, email anadhelp@anad.org, or visit the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders website and helpline for more information.

To take a confidential, eating disorder screening created by the National Eating Disorders Association, click here.

[via National Eating Disorders Association]

Image via Shutterstock

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Rachel Varina

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.

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