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A Definitive Ranking Of The Disney Princes

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Were you one of those girls who got butterflies when Prince Charming stopped mid-bow at the sight of Cinderella? Did your heart pound as Pocahontas bolted through the woods in search of John Smith? Were you absolutely fed up with Gaston’s overinflated self-confidence? Did your gut sink when Hans pulled away from Anna and left her to die? Whether you fell in love with these men or wondered why Disney didn’t kill them off instead of the poor, helpless parents, every girl knows the men of Disney. But how do they rank? Who is the most dateable? The hottest? The manliest? The heartbreaker? Can’t decide? We’ve decided for you.

16. Prince Hans, “Frozen”

Prince Hans, Frozen
This is the guy we’ve all fallen for just to have our hearts ripped out and thrown into a blender. He ranks last, because although he has good looks and royal status, his soul is pure evil.

15. Gaston, “Beauty and the Beast”

Gaston, Beauty and the Beast
Gaston is that guy who obsesses over you and tries to fight any other guy who looks your way. He’s pretty to look at but awful to listen to. Basically, he’s the douchiest of all the douches, but a girl can still look, right?

14. Eugene Fitzherbert (Flynn Rider), “Tangled”

Flynn Ryder, Tangled
While he has a good smoldering look, he’s a thief with THE WORST pickup lines. There’s that whole man-purse thing, too. I mean…“satchel.”

13. Peter Pan, “Peter Pan”

Peter Pan, Peter Pan
He can fly and he’s really good with kids, but that’s probably because he is a kid. Unless your name is Wendy, cradle-robbing is a crime.

12. Tarzan, “Tarzan”

Tarzan, Tarzan
Every girl likes her man to be a little rough around the edges, and how awesome would he be at a Rumble in the Jungle mixer? But, like, take a shower, dude.

11. Hercules, “Hercules”

Hercules, Hercules
Sure, he’s got the muscles and he’s the son of a Greek god, but he’s not really a prince. While he would be the perfect date for a toga party, I don’t see him being useful for much else.

10. Prince Naveen, “The Princess and the Frog”

Prince Naveen, The Princess and the Frog
He was tall, dark, and handsome–until he became a frog. Ew. His arrogant nature is a total turn-off. Stop kidding yourself, Naveen, everyone can see right through that adorable butterfly bow-tie.

9. Prince Phillip, “Sleeping Beauty”

Prince Philip, Sleeping Beauty
Obviously, he’s hot–no one is denying that. But what kind of prince needs the help of three old lady fairies to defeat a dragon and save his princess?

8. Prince Charming, “Snow White”

Prince Charming, Snow White
No one knows too much about this mysterious, baby-faced prince, besides the fact that he’s a looker. He may also have some weird fantasy involving seven little people. Questionable.

7. Li Shang, “Mulan”

Li Shang, Mulan
Ah, yes, the military man. What’s not to love? With all the strength of a raging fire, he’s mysterious as the dark side of the moon. I mean, he does sing the best Disney song of all time–after every song in “Frozen,” of course. He’s a smidgen more on the serious side, but in a hot way. To top it off, he can totally pull of the man-bun look, which is, like, one in seven billion (AKA no one else).

6. Aladdin, “Aladdin”

Aladdin, Aladdin
Magic carpet rides and a genie who can grant you any wish? Um, yes please. I mean, if you look past those weird MC Hammer pants, this prince has a lot to offer. Seriously, how often do you find a “diamond in the rough”? Hell, I’ll go for anything that has to do with diamonds.

5. The Beast, “Beauty and the Beast”

The Beast, Beauty and the Beast
You may be all like, “Ew. He’s hairy.” And, yeah, he’s a bit jaded, but hear me out. What girl doesn’t fall for a guy who’s a little wounded? He might seem like a bad guy, but he’s a beautiful person underneath. He also has the best staff ever. Remember: when you marry a prince, you also marry his servants!

4. Kristoff, “Frozen”

Kristoff, Frozen
Kristoff is a rookie in the world of Disney, but he sure proved he can play with the big leagues. He has an adorable reindeer and is quirky in that cute sort of way. Even though he’ll be a bit of a project for Anna, it’ll be so worth it in the end. Not just any prince would risk his life by fighting off wolves, going up against a giant snow monster, and riding all the way across a crumbling frozen lake to save his girl.

3. Prince Eric, “The Little Mermaid”

Prince Eric, The Little Mermaid
This hunky prince comes from a coastal kingdom and spends most of his time at sea–ON A BOAT. If a guy who lives on a boat isn’t hot, I don’t know what is. Not to mention, he totally saw Ariel with basically nothing on (thanks to her new legs) and didn’t take advantage of her. What a gentleman! Best of all, he won over the approval of King Tritan, the most dad-ish of all dads. #swoon

2. John Smith, “Pocahontas”

John Smith, Pocahontas
He’s tough but sweet, strong but gentle, adventurous but loyal, and Grandmother Willow totally approves. He took the heat for his dumbass friend, took a bullet for Pocahontas’s father, and is just too damn cute with that raccoon. Plus, his blonde locks, blue eyes, and buff body make him undeniably desirable. I’d like to take off on a boat with him and explore some uncharted territory, if you know what I mean.

1. Prince Charming, “Cinderella”

Prince Charming, Cinderella
This iconic character from our childhood tops the list, as he embodies all every girl wants in life: the perfect body, the perfect face, a ton of money, and a complete disregard for what your evil stepmother has to say. He would do anything to get his girl and make sure she wasn’t the one who got away. His father is practically begging him for grandkids, and did I mention he lives in THE castle of Disney World?

Honorable Mentions

Kuzco, “The Emperor’s New Groove”
Well, he doesn’t look good at all, but he’s really funny, especially as a llama. But I wouldn’t date a llama.

Robin Hood, “Robin Hood”
He’s one of my favorites. He takes from the rich to feed the poor, but it’s probably wrong to love a fox, even if he is pretty foxy. (I’m sorry. I had to.)

Images via Disney Wikipedia

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premed donna

Who said you can't be smart and funny? When I'm not writing for TSM, you can find me studying into oblivion, downing a bottle of chardonnay, and/or sobbing for reasons I have yet to understand. All hate fan mail can be sent to premed.donna.tsm@gmail.com.

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