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A Day In The Life Of A Srat Star

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What exactly is a srat star? You could simply consider a srat star the female version of a frat star – she is just as crucial to Greek Life as he is. Some may judge and criticize the typical frat or srat star, while others stand in awe of them. In this case, I honor a girl on Mizzou’s campus who is the epitome of a srat star, and an example for us all. I will keep her full name anonymous, but her nickname is MC, and she is indeed quite fraternal.

MC is a character. She is the type of girl who is productive and studious during the day, but when the night comes, she is wild. I mean WILD. I interviewed her about her srat star lifestyle on a Friday morning after a night out. She gave me elaborate, knowledgeable responses about what most would consider outrageous goings on. All of this while her hair was in shambles, her eye makeup was completely smeared from the night before, and, during the interview, she received a text from a boy that said, “Last night you started petting my hair and asked me to find you a beer.” Ladies and genlemen, brace yourself, and behold a true srat star.

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Me: What is your typical Friday like as a srat star?

MC: Wake up, make sure I know where I am. Skip my 10am, come home, eat lunch, and the hangover hits while at the table. I contemplate throwing up then. I go take a nap, wake up at 1pm and go to lab. Leave lab for about seven minutes to go throw up…I really thank Cornell for having such nice bathrooms. Go back to lab – everyone knows what’s happened. Read Fail Friday for the rest of lab. Leave lab. It’s over. Come home and convince my roommates to go to McDonald’s. We get McDonald’s, I order a #3 plain large. Eat it and usually see a couple friends there. Then I go back home and sleep in one of my roommates beds because I’m too lazy to hop up to my own. Try to nap – doesn’t happen. Everyone’s getting hyped for the night by this time. Get out of bed, stand in the shower. Eat dinner. Then I pump myself up for what’s comin’. Blow dry my hair but make my roommates do it cause I can’t do that sh*t on my own. Do my hair, then my make-up.

*The interview is forced to take a pause because MC, who is lying on the ground eating Lunchables, stops and cries, ‘crumbs in my eyes.’*

MC (continued): Then I go out for round two. Going before cover is a must, get there precisely at 8:55. I’m speaking in terms of Bengals right now. Sit inside for five minutes, specials start. F*ck yea. My favorite special is actually the dollar shots, dollar bottles. I love my botts. I make it until about 11pm, then don’t ask me questions from then on. The lights are on, but nobody’s home.

Me: What is it like to be a srat star?

MC: (Sighs) That’s a tough one. Well…I picture it as something like being a professional football player. When people ask you what team you’re on, and you say something like the Rams, people shake their heads and turn away. But if you say something like the Chiefs, you’re forever remembered in their hearts. I am on the Chiefs. I am the quarterback of the Srat Star Chiefs. Fall 12.

Me: And how does one achieve such a title as a srat star?

MC: That’s simple. Shotgun a few beers on a few decks with a few boys.

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My immediate response from this interview: “unreal.” As you can see, MC is a one-of-a-kind srat star and knows how to have a ridiculously good time. She will not be fazed if you ask for a picture, as she takes great pride in her fratiness. If you want to see her in her element, you can mostly likely find her out on the town in Columbia, usually at Big 12, Bengals, and of course, fraternity houses.

Oh, and a final note. At the end of my interview with MC, after we’ve caught our breath from laughing so hard, she shares one last thing with me: “This really put my life in perspective.” Fraternal.

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MicLovin

MicLovin (@MicLovinTSM) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move.

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