Here at Total Sorority Move, we tend to live our lives by the phrase “no judgement.” I mean, considering the amount of times we’ve slept in beds that aren’t ours, experienced two-day hangovers, and talked about sex at inappropriate times? Yeah, we’re pretty non-judgy.
But then English woman Marie Calvert came into the picture, and she threw us for a major WTF loop.
Oh Marie. Sweet, innocent Marie. She’s 63 years old, she’s been with her husband since she was 15, and she has two grandchildren. Basically, she’s your average granny. Well, except for one little hobby: She’s a swinger, and she’s had sex with more than 3,000 men.
Okay, maybe she’s not your average grandma.
Last week, she released a first-person account of her life as a swinger, and it. is. intense. The sexy journey started about 35 years ago, when Marie Calvert’s husband, Barry, brought a “group sex” magazine home. Naturally, because he’s a fucking guy, he thought it would be funny to ask his wife if she would like to start swinging. Marie recalled the incident in her account published by the Guardian: “He sort of joked we should try it; I told him not to be daft, and he never mentioned it again.”
But, like any self-respecting, sexually curious 28-year-old, Marie starting thinking about it. Finally, she decided “YOLO” — long before “YOLO” was a thing — and told her hubby she’d be down to try group sex. “He looked like a kid at Christmas,” she recalled.
They started with just another couple, taking turns trading partners and watching. At first, it was bizarre. Once Marie saw her husband smiling at her while a stranger plowed her in their living room, however, she knew that everything would be okay. Eventually, after realizing how much they loved swinging, the vivacious duo decided to take matters into their own sexually devious hands. They wanted to turn their passion into a career and create their own safe haven for swingers. In 1997, their group-sex dreams came true, and they opened their own club named La Chambre.
And what a dream come true it was. Upon opening their club, the couple finally got to explore the world of swinging to its full extent. After submerging themselves, their money, and their investments into “the alternative lifestyle,” the partners became obsessed. After years of monogamy, our sweet granny Marie found herself having sex with 14 men in one night. Fourteen. And you thought hooking up with one random was weird. How did Marie feel about getting down and dirty with more than a dozen men in the course of an evening?
“I remember driving there feeling almost uncontrollably lustful. The next day I felt achy, in that lovely way, like when you’ve been to the gym,” she said.
After that night, Marie went back and tried to figure out how many sex partners she’d been with. Her response? “I’m not sure.” That’s right. She doesn’t know. How freaking awesome is that? In a world where we feel like we have to be so many things — a wife, a CEO, a Samantha, a Charlotte, a mom, a daughter, a goddess, a sex slave — here’s a grandma literally telling you, “to hell with it.” She has a husband and grandchildren, and yet she likes to fuck random guys in the same way other women like to do yoga. It’s her passion, and she gives zero fucks.
— Trending UK News (@UKolizer) February 13, 2015
How does she do it, though? I mean, how can you watch the love of your life have sex with someone else? “I don’t get jealous,” Marie said, “because I know he loves me.” Simple as that. They love each other. The end.
So what does this mean? We should all give up on monogamy and start swinging? Who knows? For some of us, it might be impossible to separate love and sex the way the Calverts do. For others, it might be the thing that keeps a relationship exciting and fulfilling. Maybe this kinky granny is onto something. As for regrets, Marie only has one: “We wish we’d found that mag five or six years earlier.” So, there you have it. A 63-year-old with an insane sex drive, a WTF attitude, and enough confidence to get 18-year-olds to sleep with her thinks you should relax and just have fun. “Life is about experimenting and experiencing,” Marie says, “and that’s what we do.”.