It’s a universally acknowledged truth that anyone over the age of 16 should not still be giving hickeys. They’re gross, unsanitary, and a hassle to cover up. Also, the act of sucking on another’s neck isn’t really fun for either party. Where is the appeal, and why are people still doing this to each other?
Not only are they like a temporary tattoo of shame, but according to Time News, they could also be fatal. 17-year-old Macias Gonzales of Mexico City died after receiving a hickey from his 24-year-old girlfriend. Doctors predict that the suction resulted in a blot clot which traveled his brain and gave him a stroke. The teen started having convulsions later that day, and eventually died from the bite.
Okay, this whole thing is really weird. First of all, why is a 24-year-old banging a 17-year-old? I didn’t even want to date high school guys when I was a teenager; why is someone seven years older fucking around with a child? Isn’t that age gap illegal in Mexico, or at least socially unacceptable? I have so many questions.
Regardless of Gonzales’ cougar preference, this hickey was no joking matter. Gonzales’ death isn’t the only reported stroke by hickey– a similar incident also happened to a 44-year-old woman in New Zealand in 2010. Luckily her stroke wasn’t fatal, but I still can’t imagine why a middle-aged human being is still receiving hickeys. This whole thing just proves that life is a bitch, and it’s hella important to be careful who you kiss.
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