’90s TV Characters Who Lowkey Killed It

Helga Pataki

While aggressive and intense Helga can be a lot to handle but it doesn’t mean she’s not a total badass. First and foremost, no one messes with her friends. The last time someone messed with Phoebe I am sure they didn’t live to tell the tale. But most importantly, no on messes with her man. Helga literally cut the brakes to a go-kart so Ruth McDougal couldn’t get near Arnold. We all need to defend our dudes with that kind of ferocity. But maybe not that kind of…crazy.

Lisa Simpson

Lisa Simpson
Miss Lisa Simpson is an obvious choice for this list. She’s smart, she’s sensible, and she’s the best feminist in her second grade class. Not to mention she plays the best saxophone, probably better than Bill Clinton himself. While she can be a bit uptight she stands tall for her morals and we could all benefit from that kind of conviction.

Suzy Carmichael

We all remember Angelica from the Rugrats but Suzy was the real boss of those babies. First of all, Suzy was actually nice. She knew that you could attract a lot more [ba]bees with honey as opposed to vinegar. She also was smart and knew how to let Angelica’s ego take over. But in reality, we knew Suzy was at the reins of it all. She also knew how to make patterned leggings cute af before LulaRoe tried and failed at the task.

Clarissa Darling

Screen Shot 2017-03-13 at 2.10.01 PM
I think I learned my sarcasm from Clarissa Darling, also she made me buy a pair of overalls but that is an entirely different story. She had some of the most interesting sense of fashion I’ve seen in a long time but also dabbled in hobbies like computer programming. It doesn’t hurt to be well-rounded. Also, who doesn’t want their best dude friend climbing into your room through a latter? ’90s dream goals, please.

Fran Fine

Fran Fine
Fran Fine is another perfect example of a woman taking the status quo and throwing it in the trash. Her style was so out of this world that no one deserved to be within ten feet of her. But she was the nanny, quite literally. She ran the hell out of that household and she looked good while doing it. Just more proof that behind every man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Valerie Frizzle

Miss Frizzle
Ms. Frizzle is my personal favorite. She was wild but she was smart and she always encouraged us to “take chances, make mistakes [and] get messy.” Which is a lesson I will take with me to the grave. She didn’t give a shit about the rules and she always followed her gut and in the end, yes she was being reckless and putting children’s lives in danger but damn didn’t we all learn a thing or two about science.

Jane Lane

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While I love Daria, I always thought Jane was the better of the two. She had better hair, piercings, and she wore the taller of the Doc Martens so I’ll always prefer that. But she had a really laissez fair take on life. Sometimes, life is deserved to be enjoyed and just lived. A true art student, through and though she let the inspiration come to her. And she would literally take a bullet for Daria. It’s cool to think all people suck and still keep the right ones around.

Ashley Banks

Ashley Banks
Hilary had the good outfits but Ashley Banks was the true substance of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Yes, she ended up at a performing arts school at the end of the series but I majored in English so I have little room to judge. But, being the youngest in that big ass family she had to learn to be assertive really quickly. She was not just some dumb young girl and was very capable of making her decisions and mistakes herself.

Patty Mayonnaise

Patty was the original manic pixie dream girl, long before Zooey Deschanel. She basically invented the slow-motion entrance with your own flowery musical score. But she was a good more than friend to Doug. She liked him for who he was and damn did she like those nice guys. We could all appreciate a good nice guy every once in awhile, even if those fuckboys are more fun. Always go for the Doug Funny and not the Roger Klotz.

Tia Landry

Tia Maybe
This was another hard choice, because Tamera was bomb af, too. But, Tamera was always getting the girls into trouble. Tia, was the more responsible of the two. But, like the rest of us she could really fall on her face around boys. She does get a tattoo with her boyfriend behind everyone’s back. But I’ll always admire the loyalty and friendship between her twin sister. We all need to treat our friends like they are also our twin.

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