So it happened. The boy who used to carry your books to class and skip study hall with you is suddenly a man. Worse yet, he’s a fraternity man. You’ve seen the movies. You’ve read the articles. You’ve mentally prepared yourself for it, but now that it’s here, you kind of don’t know how to deal. So to all of the freshmen, or late bloomers, here’s some tough love to help you understand what it’s like when your boyfriend becomes a brother.
He’s Going To Forget About You
I don’t mean all of the time. But for a few hours, or minutes, or years, or whatever, you’re not going to be the top thing on his mind. In high school, it was totally cool to text him thirteen times until he answered because he was either at practice or at his friend’s house, playing video games and getting high. But now he has a whole bunch of activities to choose from. And if he’s pledging, he has a whole bunch of required activities to well, not choose from. So do your best to stay busy and stop being so co-dependent. Get a hobby. Take up masturbation. Whatever it is, realize that he has other shit going on and don’t mope. It’ll only make him want to cancel more plans with you.
TL;DR Advice: Don’t be a bitch. Get a life.
He’s Going To Change
Entering college changes you. Entering Greek life changes you even more. Most of the time in good ways. As a girlfriend, however, it can seem the opposite. He’ll spend more time with other people. He won’t invite you to everything. He won’t always be able to answer his phone or want to stay in and watch whatever dumb show you’re binging on together. Now’s your time to change, too. If you want your relationship to work, you need to accept the fact that you’re both going to change a lot over the course of life. You can either bitch about it and push him away, or support him and work on changing into someone you’re proud of too.
TL;DR Advice: Duh he’s going to change. You both are. Don’t fight it and just be cool.
He’s Going To Be Around Girls. A Lot.
Socials. Buddies. Those groupies who just always hang around the house like they live there. These girls attach themselves to every fraternity in the country, and they’re basically as much a staple as the awkward composites on the wall. You have three choices. You can be a cunt and forbid your boyfriend to see them (100 percent chance of being dumped). You can just be cool about it and trust him. Or you can become one of the groupies and join the world of fighting for sweetheart status. The choice is yours. Either way, he’ll be around bitches most of the time. Trust him, or move on.
TL;DR Advice: Accept it. Trust him. And/or turn into a groupie yourself.
He’s Going To Have Asshole Friends
With any large group of guys, there’s going to be the annoying ones who insist he take another shot, insist he goes on that date function, insist that “girlfriends are just speed bumps.” And your boyfriend is going to be friends with them. And guess what? There’s not really much you can do about it. Either fight the asshole back to gain his respect or just avoid him as much as possible. Whatever you do, don’t make your boyfriend choose. Because trust me, in the long run, you won’t win.
TL;DR Advice: Sucks. But there’s not much you can do about it. Just remember that your bf’s not an asshole. And if he is, dump him and move the eff on.
He’s Going To Do Cool Things, And You’re Not Going To Be Invited
Okay. Sometimes you’re going to be invited. Formal is going to kick ass, and grab-a-dates are the shit. But he’s going to have events with sororities, parties with other girls, casual Chipotle dates with his “fam,” and brotherhood events that include alcohol and… well, idk what else. You’re going to get jealous. Try to find activities and friends of your own. You can do cool things without him, too.
TL;DR Advice: You’ll get jealous. Deal with it. Go do your own thing.
He Might Cheat On You Or Dump You Or Other Bad Things
But being in a fraternity won’t determine that. If he has a good character and is worth your time, he’ll be faithful. Trust him, or dump him. It’s that simple. Joining a group of guys isn’t going to lead him to cheat. But being nagging, overbearing, and bitchy will push him away. Try to be supportive, kind, and above all, excited about this new chapter in his life. And if you don’t want to accept him as he moves forward, maybe he shouldn’t accept you.
TL;DR Advice: A frat won’t make him cheat. His character will. Pick a good guy and you’ll be fine.
So ladies, if your guy is staying out until odd hours, running errands for old guys, and returning to you tired and covered in dirt, don’t worry. The guy you love is still there, but he’s changing. It’s up to you if you want to change with him, or get left behind..