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58 Things That Being Greek Has Taught Me

Being Greek

Learning in college, as most of us know, goes well beyond the classroom. Sure, you learn every communication theory ever mentioned, what a SWOT analysis is, or the entire periodic table. You graduate with a piece of paper that has fancy writing on it, saying you’re knowledgable and that you learned how to be efficient in your major. But, if we’re being honest, the college experience teaches us way more than any course in any discipline could. We slowly learn how to be semi-functioning adults, how to (kind of) live on our own, and how to have some serious fun.

When people ask most Greeks what we learned in college, we all have the same boring answers: “I learned how to network,” or “I learned how to be a leader,” or “I learned how to be confident.” Don’t get me wrong, these are great skills to develop and have, but they also make Greek life sound like a convention or a workshop. It makes Greek life sound sterile and, well, kind of boring. I won’t say that everything I need to know I learned from being Greek, but almost everything I need to know is something I learned from being Greek. Sure, not everything is “recruitment friendly” and some stuff could even make my nationals cry. Here’s the the thing with life, though. It isn’t always “recruitment friendly.”

So, to the seniors and the postgrads looking for nostalgia, the PNMs wondering what going Greek is really like, and the newly initiated sisters finding out what sisterhood really is, here is what I’ve learned from being Greek.

  1. It’s always better to be overdressed than underdressed.
  2. Lying in bed naked is a legitimate solution to most problems.
  3. When in doubt, wear leggings out.
  4. Having power is a privilege, not a right.
  5. “Abusing” your power is wrong. Using it to its “full potential” is perfectly okay.
  6. If you want something done right, assign it to a busy girl.
  7. A great way to make friends is by playing slap the bag.
  8. Getting into a fight with someone close to you about what he or she did while blacked out is not worth your time and it isn’t fair to either of you. Move on.
  9. Sometimes great things DO happen after 2 a.m.
  10. Excuses are like assholes–everyone has one and it’s full of shit.
  11. There is a huge difference between a reason and an excuse.
  12. What happens in the sorority Facebook group STAYS in the sorority Facebook group. No exceptions.
  13. Flirting is a very powerful tool. Use it wisely.
  14. You’ll never meet a more critical group of people than your sisters.
  15. One day, you’ll thank your sisters for being so critical, because it made you that much better.
  16. What your blacked out alter ego did is none of your business.
  17. Giving up makes you look cowardly.
  18. Fraternity boys gossip just as much–if not more–than girls.
  19. Throwing up will make you feel better 90 percent of the time.
  20. Always hear a person out when he or she messes up.
  21. There will always be a fun-sucker who narcs everyone out. Avoid this person at all costs.
  22. There is no wrong way to deal with a broken heart.
  23. Being nice to someone who you don’t really like isn’t fake. It’s called being mature and cordial.
  24. Pretending to be that person’s friend and talking shit about him or her is being fake. Don’t be fake.
  25. Heels are a necessary evil.
  26. Same with Spanx.
  27. Boys are really weird and it’s a wasted effort trying to understand them.
  28. Yes, stereotypes exist for a reason. No, not everyone fits into one. Figure someone out by getting to know him or her, not his or her stereotype.
  29. Having a competitive edge is a necessity.
  30. When a girl puts a smiley face at the end of a message, she’s being a bitch.
  31. Passive aggressiveness is energy that is better spent drinking.
  32. You’ll always hate your rival sorority, even if you meet someone from a different chapter.
  33. There’s always time for happy hour.
  34. Crying in public is completely okay. Crying every time you drink is not.
  35. Just because someone looks put together, it doesn’t mean he or she is. It means he or she is really good at maintaining a cover.
  36. Goodwill doesn’t take returns.
  37. Fraternity gal pals are a requirement to survive.
  38. Never half-ass a mixer costume. People will judge you.
  39. Rules are very much made to be broken.
  40. But first, be prepared if there are consequences.
  41. Crafting automatically improves any relationship.
  42. You will embarrass yourself, so just laugh it off.
  43. Kiss a lot of boys.
  44. Do keg stands.
  45. Nothing is worse than when too many of your sisters use the same Netflix account at one time.
  46. Except for Four Horsemen shots. Stay away from those.
  47. Returning home at 7 a.m. should be a staple in everyone’s college career.
  48. Breakdowns will happen, no matter how much you try to avoid them.
  49. There’s nothing a 30 minute social media stalking binge can’t find out about someone.
  50. Reputations only highlight your negative qualities, so don’t let yours bother you or change the way you act.
  51. There is no such thing as “nothing to lose.”
  52. Water is not a good chaser. Pickle juice is.
  53. Formals are the best times you’ll never remember.
  54. Day drinking is a marathon, not a sprint.
  55. The camera may add 10 pounds, but you can pose to take off 15.
  56. Your big may not know it all, but no one does. Still listen to her.
  57. Do it for the story.
  58. You wear your letters on your front, because your sisters will always have your back.

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Hakuna Moscato

Hakuna Moscato (@HakunaMoscato) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move. and Post Grad Problems. A born and raised Maryland girl, she's obsessed with the Baltimore Ravens, Old Bay, and anything that has the Maryland flag pattern on it. She's a newly retired student-athlete and sorority girl, but not quite ready to call herself an adult, especially since she still has to be carried out of bars. With a Long Island in hand, she's ready for whatever life is throwing her way. Maybe.

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