56 Reasons Lizzie McGuire Should Have Tied Down Gordo

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If there’s one non-couple that always stressed millennial chicks out, it’s Lizzie and Gordo. He would stare at her in awe, give her bomb compliments, and bring her doughnuts. Yet she never even had the slightest clue our man was head over heels in love with her. Why couldn’t Lizzie just wake up and realize that he meets all of the requirements on The Boyfriend Checklist? Seriously.

  1. He gets along with her family, even Matt.
  2. She would have a kick-ass Instagram thanks to his video skills.
  3. He’s pretty much a genius.
  4. Which means he will be the next Bill Gates.
  5. Like seriously, he even went to high school early (for a day).
  6. Gordo witnesses Lizzie drooling over Ethan Craft even though it pains him just because he knows it makes her happy.
  7. But he does throw it out there often that Ethan is a complete bonehead, which makes Gordo sound even smarter.
  8. Even Kate Sanders knows he’s good for her.
  9. He trusts her, and trust is everything.
  10. When Miranda and Lizzie want to rip each other’s hair out, the dude is there to glue them back together.
  11. Seeing her on her period wouldn’t be weird because he was even there when she literally screamed for a bra.
  12. Lying isn’t one of his strong points, so he would not be able to get away with much.
  13. He always has a way to comfort her when she’s feeling down, usually with food.
  14. So PMS would be just a tad more bearable.
  15. He’s still into her even after she wears the infamous unicorn sweater.
  16. There’s no way he would be the type to “subtly” push her head down towards his junk for a beej.
  17. He was willing to take advice from Ethan Craft to get Lizzie’s attention.
  18. His comebacks and sarcasm are the best.
  19. The only time he would be glued to his phone would be when he’s taking pictures of Lizzie, but not in a creepish way.
  20. He does not give a shit what other people think.
  21. Tudgeman loves both of them, and his approval is all that matters tbh.
  22. When the opportunity arises, he might creep on her Pinterest board to see what to buy/cook/do for her.
  23. His jealousy is actually really cute.
  24. He would take her on romantic dates to the Digital Bean.
  25. He gives her genuine compliments all of the time.
  26. Gordo gives great advice even when Lizzie doesn’t want to hear it.
  27. He got sent home from Italy just so she wouldn’t get into trouble.
  28. The foundation of their relationship would be friendship.
  29. Presents would come standard with the relationship.
  30. Ronnie, the loser paperboy, would be envious AF.
  31. She wouldn’t have to awkwardly avoid the interrogation about him from her mom, brother, great aunt, etc.
  32. He joins in on all of the ridiculous shenanigans she and Miranda get into.
  33. He ditched a dance to be with her.
  34. Which wasn’t a huge deal to him because he already randomly dances with her all of the time. Aww.
  35. He gets butterflies when he catches a swift of her body and hair scent.
  36. There would be nights of cuddling as well as nights playing Clue dressed in the Roaring ’20s costumes with friends and family.
  37. They hardly ever get in intense irrelevant arguments.
  38. He constantly reminds her that popularity isn’t everything.
  39. Friends wouldn’t be able to say they never see them anymore, because seriously, Miranda is pretty much the only other relevant friend who they wouldn’t ditch.
  40. Signing her yearbook wouldn’t be as difficult because his feelings wouldn’t be in the closet.
  41. He’s confident with who he is, and confidence is straight fire.
  42. Like he’s not even intimidated by Aaron Carter or Frankie Muniz.
  43. She’s totally herself around him.
  44. He’s mature for his age and wouldn’t bother her about his bowel movements.
  45. He publicly humiliated an Italian pop star specially for her.
  46. Homeboy would bring Lizzie her favorite flowers all the time if they were dating.
  47. He’s a loyal friend, which means he would be a loyal significant other as well.
  48. He has his own wacky sense of style.
  49. Uber would not be needed. He’s responsible enough to be the DD.
  50. Lizzie’s phone wouldn’t be blowing up with texts all the time. They already had their daily three-way call with Miranda.
  51. He would totally be down to just chill and watch Netflix.
  52. He encourages her to chase her lifelong dreams, such as run for (class) president.
  53. His grandma calls herself Gorgeous. Anyone who is related to a woman like that is bound to be social royalty.
  54. He’s athletic, if you consider hackeysack a sport.
  55. Her best friend loves him too.
  56. He puts her happiness first.

Ethan Craft may have been a Greek God, but Gordo has always been the real winner.

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Kellie Stritz

Kellie, spelled with an "ie," practically resides at Starbucks even though they have yet to spell her name correctly. She's obsessed with the color pink, Elle Woods, and Bitmoji's. Her biggest accomplishment is breaking the record within her sorority for how many standards hearings she has had without getting kicked out. She spends her free time trying to stay tan (i.e. sunburnt) and stalking people on social media.

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