54 Signs You’re “That Couple”


  1. #MCM? Psh. More like #MCE because yes. He’s your man crush everyday.
  2. And yes, you need to post a picture for it, obviously.
  3. And when he posts your WCW, he adds a cute hashtag like #pussywhipped #FutureWifey.
  4. You call each other babe.
  5. Or bae.
  6. Or any other form of “baby.”
  7. You’ve made out in public places.
  8. Like bars.
  9. Cars.
  10. And your parent’s house at Sunday bunch.
  11. You refer to yourselves as “we.”
  12. Such as: “We love that show,” “we don’t eat olives,” or “we only go to this particular Crossfit gym.”
  13. Speaking of Crossfit. If you Crossfit together, you’re “that couple.”
  14. You sit on the same side of the booth at restaurants.
  15. Or, if you sit across from each other, you make sure to somehow hold hands throughout the entire dinner.
  16. And you make sure to always trade bites while feeding each other.
  17. You write on each other’s Facebook walls like it’s the freaking dark ages.
  18. You sleep curled together, lightly spooning and being the perfect picture of love.
  19. Instead of somehow both sleeping diagonally without managing to touch each other and drooling on your sheets like most of us do.
  20. You go on picnics.
  21. And I don’t mean ironically. You actually pack a basket. You go to a park. And you lay down on a flannel blanket.
  22. Bonus points if you bring champagne and comment on the children you see playing, only to say how much cuter your future offspring will be.
  23. Because yes. You have your baby names picked out already. Obviously.
  24. You put your hands in the back pockets of his jeans, and he does the same to you.
  25. And you stand in this totally inappropriate position while you go do Groupon things, like art museums and cheese tastings.
  26. You got a dog together, and you call it your baby.
  27. And yes. The man you’re dating is now called “dad.”
  28. You text each other literally nonstop (not using that in a basic white girl way, I actually mean literally).
  29. But it’s only because you miss him so much!
  31. And OMG! He needs to see this cute puppy.
  32. But also like, he hasn’t texted you back in four minutes so you should probably text him again because WTF is he doing?
  33. You almost don’t remember each other’s actual names because you you only use pet names.
  34. But it’s okay! Because you already have your future monogram planned out in case you forget.
  35. And your name in each other’s phones is just a giant string of emojis.
  36. *Kissy face* *Heart eyes* *Couple holding hands* *Heart* *RING* *RING* *RING*
  37. Before making plans you check in with each other.
  38. But that’s just because you might have had plans to not make other plans and sit on the couch and watch Netflix, you know?
  39. Speaking of Netflix, yes you two watch shows together.
  40. And yes, you get in actual fights if one of you watches ahead.
  41. But it’s not your fault! “We just loooooove House of Cards!
  42. You force each other to do things you totally hate.
  43. Like going to see romantic comedies.
  44. Or watching football.
  45. Or giving blow jobs.
  46. But you joke about it and say you’ll do it for the “ol’ ball and chain.”
  47. Monthiversaries are dedicated to a multiple paragraph Instagram post and making all of your social media friends hate you.
  48. But that wont stop you from posting multiple pictures of the two of you basically having sex.
  49. And reeling in a whole bunch of “OMG you’re sooooo cute. #FaveCouple” comments.
  50. When you see anything related to being in a relationship, you immediately post it on each other’s Facebook walls.
  51. Because yes, you’re in love. Yes, you’re in a committed relationship. And yes, everyone needs to know about it.
  52. If you’re invited somewhere, your boyfriend is also invited. That’s just how it works.
  53. Because honestly, you’re each other’s best friends.
  54. And you don’t care what the haters say, because at the end of the day, you’re the one who’s happy. And quite frankly, that’s all that matters.

Ah to be young and obsessively in love. As long as you have an open bar at the wedding, alls forgiven. Maybe.

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Rachel Varina

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.

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