50 Ways To Be The Perfect College Boyfriend

50 Ways To Be A Perfect Boyfriend

1. Be older than us.

2. We like shooters. Deal with it.

3. No stubble. For many reasons.

4. Keep a bottle of champagne in your fridge. It can be cheap, we won’t know the difference.

5. Don’t call us crazy for no reason. We’ll give you crazy if that’s what you want.

6. Let us boss around the pledges every once in a while.

7. At least pretend to like our cooking.

8. Tell us we’re prettier than your ex-girlfriend.

9. Make us feel comfortable. This will work in your favor.

10. Don’t be creeped out when we text your mom.

11. Date nights are appreciated.

12. Don’t embarrass us at our formal. Don’t be mad when we embarrass you at yours.

13. Don’t forget our birthday.

14. Act like a gentleman.

15. Call our dad ‘Sir.’ Be afraid of him.

16. Pose for pictures with us. If nothing else, it’s an excuse to touch our ass.

17. Don’t make fun of us for wearing bows.

18. Looking at other girls is tolerable. Touching them is not.

19. Ask if we’ve lost weight.

20. Deal with the fact that we will steal all of your Rush shirts.

21. Don’t share nudes. At least not after we’re official.

22. Tell us we’re the best you’ve ever had.

23. Tell our single friend she’s pretty and offer to buy her a drink.

24. We’re not interested in threesomes. But if we ever say we are, that is likely your only chance. Do or die.

25. Don’t ignore us when you’re with your friends.

26. Lightly slap our ass in public. We’ll pretend we don’t like it, but we really do.

27. Be nice to our little.

28. Let us pay sometimes. It’s our dad’s money, after all.

29. Introduce us to your parents when they visit.

30. Don’t just lie there and expect us to do all the work.

31. Kiss us in the rain; it’s something we’ve always wanted to do. We’ll return the favor.

32. Let your friends hit on us. It makes us feel wanted.

33. Wink at us from across the room.

34. Lie about your “number.”

35. Don’t ask us ours. You don’t want to know, anyway.

36. Let us play “Sorority Girl” at the pregame. Keep the eye rolling to a minimum.

37. Don’t treat us like your mother.

38. Exit out of the porn on your computer before we come over.

39. You don’t have to love our drunk texts, you just have to tolerate them.

40. Tell us we look good naked.

41. Don’t push our head down. Just ask nicely.

42. Wash your sheets.

43. Take us home when we’ve had too much to drink. Pizza first. Hookup second.

44. Ask us about our day. At least pretend to listen.

45. Flowers don’t fix everything. But they fix a lot of things.

46. Same goes for oral.

47. Don’t say ‘I love you’ if you don’t mean it. No one likes a liar.

48. Tell us we’d make a good mom. Then remind us to take the pill.

49. Give us a pet name. Darlin’ doesn’t count.

50. Be spontaneous. See #46.

To read the 50 Ways To Be The Perfect College Girlfriend, click HERE.


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Catie Warren

From Rush To Rehab (@catie__warren) is a semi-fuctioning adult who has been celebrating her 21st birthday for the past three years. She attended college in the nation’s capital and to this day is angry that Pit Bull lied to her, as you cannot, in fact, party on The White House lawn. Prior to her success with TSM, Rehab was most famous for being featured in her hometown newspaper regarding her 5th grade Science Fair Project for which she did not place. In her spare time, she enjoys attributing famous historical quotes to Marilyn Monroe and getting in fights with thirteen year olds on twitter. Email:

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