5 Types Of Attention Whores

Five Types Of Attention Whores

1. The Camera Whore

The best indication that the girl in question is a camera whore is the way she uses her Facebook profile. The fact that she has over 4,000 photos is a telltale sign that this is the type of attention whoredom you’re dealing with. She probably went through a phase during which she took embarrassing selfies in the mirror with her phone. God forbid, she still takes them. It’s nice to have her around, because she generally serves as the group’s photographer, but it’s transparent. She fights her way to the center of every picture, demanding to be on her good side, and the act gets old. We all went through a phase when we felt the need to take enough pictures to fill a whole album every single time we went out, but most of us grew out of it in our early high school years, perhaps with a brief relapse our freshman years of college. While this girl is obnoxious, though, her attention whoredom is harmless. Find a girl like this to Facebook stalk when you’re having a bad day, and you’ll be feeling so much better in no time, as you realize how classy and cute you are in comparison.

The Social Media Whore

This is the girl that uses Facebook as her diary. Every emotion she has ever had, she pours into a long and embarrassing Facebook status. She can’t go a conversation without mentioning something she saw on Pinterest. She’s basically her own paparazzi. Just check out her Instagram. Everything about her day, from what she ate, to some random scenery she happened upon, to a cuddle pic with her grandmother’s cat is packaged and presented to you beneath an Earlybird filter. Though seemingly similar to the camera whore, the difference lies within the fact that her photographs aren’t ever posted to showcase herself. The purpose is for everyone to know how fabulous she and the things she’s doing are. The plus side about having her as a friend? You never need to text her to figure out what she’s doing, just go on Twitter or foursquare, and you’ll know right away what she’s up to and where to find her.

The Attention Whore That Looks The Part

Judging this train wreck is always a fun activity if your Saturday night isn’t as exciting as planned. This girl uses her body to attract attention. Sometimes she’s attractive, and sometimes, well sometimes she’s one of those sights you just can’t unsee. You can identify this girl by her maximum-exposure clothing, complemented by her orange skin, black eye makeup, and too-tall hair. Once she heads out, her mission is “drunkest girl at the party,” because she probably wouldn’t be able to engage in the activities she likes to participate in without a trusty blackout by her side. She’s dancing on tables, giving lap dances, taking body shots, and flashing rooms full of people. Is she an actual whore? Maybe, maybe not, but in either case, assume she’s at the very least okay with sending nudes for the “You’re so hot” thrill, and proceed with caution while opening snapchats.

The Drama Queen

Small name, big ego. One of the most dangerous kinds of attention whores, this girl loves to be the center of attention and will do whatever it takes to get her way. She’ll trivialize serious matters in applying them to herself, just to make sure she’s the focus. She’ll exaggerate her poor body image into an “eating disorder,” and a regrettable hookup into “the time she almost got raped,” completely insulting and undermining the people who actually have these problems. Whenever there is drama, she’s always the center of it, and even if it doesn’t pertain to her, she’s sure to get involved. Even if her life is going great, she’ll have some awful crisis to bitch about as long as someone’s around to hear it. I assume her life motto is along the lines of Why waste a temper tantrum if there’s nobody around to witness it? God help those witnesses that don’t hide their lack of give-a-shit.

The Overly Sweet, Fake Attention Whore

This girl is the absolute worst. She’s so nice that before you realize that she’s only pretending to be the sweetest girl alive for attention, you feel like a bitch hating her. Luckily, she’s not really a good person. No one is that nice all the time, unless they’re only doing it to seem nice. Don’t believe me? Then I wouldn’t stick around to hear what she says behind your back. Don’t be fooled when she offers to let you borrow her clothes, bakes something for your birthday, or consoles you when you’re upset. These are things that are expected from your best friends, but coming from anyone else, it’s weird, fake, and should not be trusted. People love her, because they are stupid, and they fall for her tricks, but she’s the farthest thing from altruistic. The only reason she’s “so nice,” is because she wants people talking about how amazing she is. Ever notice how vocal she is about her “good” deeds? She wants to be on everyone’s good side, and in many cases, uses her “sweet” personality to extract gossip, which she wil pass on to others. Do not trust her.

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Things_That_Sparkle (@SparkleThatTSM) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move.

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