5 Types Of Alcohol You Drink When You Are Poor AF


It’s a Friday night and you’re wanting some alcohol, but you can’t afford to spend tons of money at the bars. Yeah, you have some money, but you still have to eat and live. That’s where cheap alcohol comes in. You need something to take the edge off, something to get you a little loose, so you force yourself to sort of enjoy (or at the very least, tolerate) gross, cheap alcohol. Here are the top five worst cheap alcohols that get you drunk without breaking the bank.

1. Mad Dog 20/20

Known by many as “hobo wine,” this beverage is equipped with the high proof and alcohol content all college kids are looking for, with a huge benefit — it doesn’t taste like lighter fluid mixed with complete shit. Oh, and you don’t need a mixer, or a cup. Drink this beauty out of the bottle and at most it will cost you about $6.00, and I promise you, it will be the only thing you need to drink throughout the night. Drink a bottle of MD 20/20 and you’ll feel like you’re on cloud nine…until you wake up the next morning, that is. With flavors like Orange Jubilee, Banana Red, Electric Melon and Blue Raspberry, you have many funky flavors to assist you with your drunken slop fest. Enjoy and best of luck with your tango with MD 20/20, it is an experience to not remember.

2. Vladimir Vodka

Good ole Vladdy. It is the go-to alcohol to buy if you are having a party with a lot of people, if you are poor as hell or you have a hankering for the taste of rubbing alcohol. Buy a few handles, throw it in with some juice and you have alcohol for the whole party and trust me, people at parties don’t care what is it–as long as it gets the job done and it’s free. Considering a handle of this fine vodka costs less than $13.00, you can buy this and have it last a couple of crazy weekends (unless you have a habit of being the drunkest person at the party). In either case, Vladdy is a good choice for a cheap liquor that you can mix with whatever you like. I knew a kid who would carry around his handle of Vladdy, a red solo cup and a liter of orange pop every weekend. The ideal kit for whatever level of drunk you want to achieve. You just have to get past the initial taste and you are good to go.

3. Boxed wine

We all know boxed wines are pretty cheap in a broad sense. You are paying under $20.00 for 5 liters of wine, which is pretty much a steal. Plus, it comes in a big bag with a spout, so you don’t need cups or a bottle — it’s essentially a wine water fountain. Now it is also said that boxed wine isn’t the best quality wine but hey, you’re a broke college kid looking to get drunk with your friends, are you really looking for super high quality? Didn’t think so. Boxed wine also comes in many “flavors,” for lack of the better word, from super sweet to dry, so you have many options. Boxed wine is said to last a handful of weeks, so this should last you more than a couple of weekends and you can spend your booze money on something else. Maybe food?

4. Natty Light

Like liquor, cheaper beer is most likely not the tastiest but it gets the job done. Drink enough beer and you will reach the level intended. One of the cheaper beers out there would be Natty Light. When trying to envision the taste of Natty Lite, imagine what regular beer tastes like… now water that down, and don’t hold back on the water. I’m talking a 50/50 mix of water and beer. That is what Natty Light tastes like. It’s not great, but at least it goes down easy and if you drink enough, it can give you a pretty decent buzz.

5. Four Loko

Everyone has a story about their encounters with Four Loko. It comes in a can, doesn’t cost much and it will fuck. you. up. Four Loko comes in a plethora of different flavors, so you are bound to find one that doesn’t taste like liquid vomit that you can chug repeatedly. Like Mad Dog, you essentially only need one can to get yourself to a level of drunken happiness. Four Loco is like drunk magic in a can. Don’t try and get cocky and drink more than one, or you’ll seriously regret it in the morning.

Cheers to frugal drunkenness!

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I'm Ashley and I get wine drunk by myself more than I should, eat my weight in tacos and make bad choices. I'm a ball at parties and only slightly embarrassing. Enjoy the shit I write. xoxo.

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