You got the email. Executive board is extending you the invitation to live in the house. You’ve been going to meetings and events in this beautiful palace, and now you can finally have your own bachelorette pad inside. Sounds perfect, right? Maybe. It’s not all rainbows and naked pillow fights, as many non-sorority members believe. Before you sign away your soul to the house in blood, consider a few things first.
1. Everyone Knows Your Business–All The Time
Sisters will know when you are and aren’t there, which can get annoying. If you are studying, watching TV, or you simply do not want to see anyone, this is the exact time that someone will knock on your door either asking for glitter, alcohol, or for you to go on a Chipotle run with her. And she will know you are there, so there’s no ignoring her.
2. No Boys
This may not be standard for every house, but my house has a no boys rule, which sucks. Of course, this simply means that you have to learn how to sneak a large man into the house without every sister passing you along the way. You have to time it perfectly. Mealtimes are optimal because everyone is gone. Nighttime can be a little dangerous because everyone else is doing the same thing as you, except for that one prude sister who will rat out everyone. She’s always the one who walks by at the most inopportune moment, too. This also applies to the “everyone will know your business all the time” point, because even though you try to hide him, everyone hears you having sex in your room. Even when you think you’re being quiet, we know.
3. Toilet Paper
If you live in the house, everyone will want to use your bathroom when there is an activity going on in the chapter room. Yes, your house does have a guest bathroom, but at some point, every single sister in your chapter will use your bathroom. Either the guest bathroom will be taken, out of toilet paper, or someone will clog it. And there’s that one sister who just likes creeping to see what hair products you use.
I, along with most sorority girls, have an affinity for blasting my “getting ready” music before going out. It’s either a Katy Perry song or straight-up booty music. It’s fun, has a good, loud bass, and since you like it, everyone else in the house wants to hear it, too, right? Wrong. It may seem fine when you’re doing it, but no matter when this occurs, someone will get mad and complain. Once again, there’s always the one prude sister who stays in every weekend studying, and she will be upset that other people are having fun. On the other hand, the one night you are sick and just want to sleep, everyone in the house will blast their speakers. Enjoy.
5. Community Kitchen
The sorority house is the mecca of tasty treats throughout the year. It’s basically a requirement to be able to cook if you join a sorority. Your house kitchen is beautiful, but can also get crowded. Before a bake sale, the entire chapter will try to cram into this kitchen to create sweet masterpieces. On a Saturday night, someone will come home drunk, put a pizza in the oven, forget about it, and everyone will have a nice wake up call when the fire alarm goes off. And of course, there’s the community sink, where the dirty dishes go. Every chapter has that one sister who always leaves her dirty dishes EVEN WHEN YOU LEAVE NOTES OUT TELLING HER HOW DISGUSTING SHE IS AND HOW NO ONE IS GOING TO DO HER DISHES FOR HER. You will learn to hate her, but someone will always cave and clean the dishes for her, so the cycle continues.
Finally, the last point to consider is that even with all these negatives, living in the house is awesome. You get to be in the center of the sorority, since all drama eventually finds its way to the group therapy session in the chapter room. Secrets are (usually) safe in your house, you can roll out of bed right before meetings held in the chapter room (unless it’s badge attire), and sisters who live in the house together are always the closest. Also, it’s totally fun to run through the house in your panties at some point. I highly recommend it.