Oh, boys. What a charming and adorable species they are. However, due to the steady decline of romance since the days of courting, they’re a little clueless. But sadly, we’re not much better. Listen, it’s hard out there for a badass single girl. Between actually showing up to work without a hangover, running a fabulous social media profile, and struggling through college, we have very little time. So our dating lives? They’re somewhat nonexistent. Especially because in today’s society, being a woman in college is all about you: finding out who you’re meant to be while simultaneously finding your bridesmaids. Don’t worry, though, I’ve got you covered.
Compile All Potential Love Interests (On Social Media)
First off, you need to know who’s out there. It’s 2016, so basically you can do it all from the comfort of your couch without needing to take off your full butt panties or brush your teeth. A little click here, a super casual “Like” there. Between Instagram, Tinder, Twitter, and Facebook (I know, now we’re getting creepy) you can literally find out the guy’s life story, his dreams, and fall in love. Thanks to the date label on Instagram, it’s entirely too easy to scroll through the photos that chronicle the life of this potential new guy.
Get in Touch With Your “Notice Me” Look
It’s all about confidence. For some, that means sweats and a dirty ponytail. For others, that means a skin-tight dress and heels. Find what makes you feel the best, and work it.
Join Tinder #sorrynotsorry
The world is a judgmental place. It’s full of people who want to tell you how to live your life and what’s considered appropriate or not appropriate. If you’re looking for convenience when it comes to finding a guy, your answer is in the app store. Judge all you want, but Tinder is fun to use — scrolling through guys all day being shamelessly shallow while choosing if they’re hot or not? A lazy girl’s heaven. Reserve swiping right for only those who meet your high standards, and make sure your profile pic was taken pre-freshman ten.
Do NOT Go Back to Your Ex
If you’re following the steps, you no doubt have caught that cute guy from your math class checking you out because that’s what happens when you wear Free People to class. So we’re going to take a minute and remind you not to lose all of your progress. You’ve been so busy not giving a fuck about him, and you can’t go back now. So just drink. A lot. Make sure someone is holding your phone for the night because we all fucking know why you’re sending sultry Snapchats at two in the morning. (No seriously. You accidentally put in on your story, you drunky.)
Realize That Being Single Great
Let’s have a real talk for a hot second. Being single fucking rocks. You’re in college. So you have four (or maybe five because you know, that first year of thinking you wanted to be a doctor and failing Biology was a bitch) years to live it up. Dance on elevated surfaces and make out with random guys. You can flirt and get free drinks from anyone who want. You actually can do pretty much anything without needing to explain yourself. You can go to formal with anyone, not just see pictures of the other single girls who got a free vacation and fabulous Insta pics. Besides, boys will never understand your love for monograms or the desperate need for a white wine emoji.
So whether you decide to go through with that date with the LAX player from Tinder, or stay in and start binge watching Gossip Girl for the fifth time, either is just fine. You’re young, and call me hopeless but I honestly believe one day my Prince Charming will come riding in on a white horse. Or a red jeep. And yours will too. And if he’s really your soul mate, he’s going to get out of his truck holding Jack Daniels and Chipotle. Until then, put on your wedges, take five hundred Snapchats, eat the extra three cookies. Because no matter what your Facebook relationship status says, you’re hot and all the guys swipe right on Tinder for you..