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49 Things You Absolutely Will Not Miss About High School

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  1. You can schedule your classes around your sleep schedule. Say goodbye to waking up at 6 a.m.
  2. Have to go to the bathroom? Get up and go.
  3. Locker combinations no more: 49-8-what the fuck was the last one again?
  4. The only people you need to hide alcohol from are the RAs, and they don’t really care all that much.
  5. You can leave your high school reputation in high school.
  6. Meaningless busywork is a thing of the past.
  7. No one’s around to ground you for staying out too late or for being on Facebook instead of studying.
  8. Prom? Formals are infinitely better.
  9. Worrying about getting into college. Hi, welcome to paradise.
  10. Goodbye 18-year-old boys, hello 22-year-old young men.
  11. Never having to think about SATs or ACTs ever again. Ever
  12. Hiding your phone inside your backpack so you won’t get caught texting in class.
  13. Detentions. LOL.
  14. Just making out. Sex is awesome, just make sure to avoid herpes. That shit stays with you.
  15. Summer is for tanning and bad decisions, not summer reading assignments.
  16. Homeroom, because what is the fucking point of homeroom?
  17. Chaperones kicking you out of dances if you danced inappropriately or smelled like booze.
  18. Your sex ed classes now come from your older sisters giving you advice on how to give great head or master a new position, not an overweight gym teacher telling you not to have sex.
  19. Dress codes. Hi yoga pants and flip flops, I will be wearing you every day.
  20. Risking an in school suspension by playing hooky. Now it’s called “I’d rather take a nap.”
  21. Driving to friends’ houses. All you have to do is walk to another dorm, climb some stairs, or cross a street.
  22. Rivalry week at college blows high school rivalry week out of the water.
  23. Listening to “I Love College” and completely relating to the entire song.
  24. High school romances because HAHAHAHAHA what a joke.
  25. Riding the bus.
  26. No more lying about staying over at Becky’s when you’re actually going to a party.
  27. Not looking for the pool on the fourth floor of the back building.
  28. Drama doesn’t go away, but it’s not as menial as it was in high school.
  29. Nobody gives a shit about cliques in college.
  30. Assigned seating.
  31. Class bells.
  32. Pre-calc.
  33. Having to take stupid classes that you have no interest in whatsoever.
  34. AP classes and tests, and realizing college is nothing like those classes.
  35. Changing for gym class and being sweaty for the rest of the day.
  36. Studying for a test days in advance.
  37. Actually, studying in general.
  38. Dressing to impress. And by “to impress,” I mean slutty. Seriously, yoga pants and flip flops.
  39. Overcrowded hallways that give you a slight case of claustrophobia.
  40. Getting in trouble for sleeping in class.
  41. High school parties.
  42. Substitute teachers who took class way too seriously.
  43. Drinks like Hpnotiq, Seagram’s Escapes, and Twisted Tea. Hi hangover.
  44. Actually, substitutes in general because now it’s called “class is canceled.”
  45. Dissecting something gross in biology and having the smell of formaldehyde stuck in your nose for two hours.
  46. “No food or drink in class.” Yeah, OKAY.
  47. Chewing gum whenever your heart desires.
  48. Morning announcements.
  49. Pretending you’ll stay in touch with people you don’t give a fuck about.

Image via Paramount Pictures

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Hakuna Moscato

Hakuna Moscato (@HakunaMoscato) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move. and Post Grad Problems. A born and raised Maryland girl, she's obsessed with the Baltimore Ravens, Old Bay, and anything that has the Maryland flag pattern on it. She's a newly retired student-athlete and sorority girl, but not quite ready to call herself an adult, especially since she still has to be carried out of bars. With a Long Island in hand, she's ready for whatever life is throwing her way. Maybe.

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