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46 Reasons Why It’s Absolutely Awesome To Be Single In College

Turns Out The "Single Ladies" Choreography Matches The "Ducktales" Theme Song Perfectly

Alright, ladies. Let’s have a real talk for a hot second. Being single is awesome. Yes, sure, sometimes we might think we’ll be alone the rest of our lives. We’ll occasionally cry because nobody loves us, and this is only worsened by the fact that we can’t even become crazy cat ladies because we’re deathly allergic to cats. It’s in our weakest (and drunkest) moments that we admit this or say it out loud, but then we sober up and realize that we are phenomenal catches and we’ll be fine. We’re in our early twenties. We judge people who get engaged at our age, and there’s so much of life we haven’t lived yet. In case you need some convincing, this is why you should be single in college.

  1. You can flirt with anyone you want.
  2. You can get free drinks from anyone you want.
  3. You can make out with anyone you want.
  4. Feel free to take up the entire bed, because you don’t have to worry about sharing with anyone.
  5. Who wants to share a twin bed with someone else anyway?
  6. You only have to worry about your own embarrassing drunk behavior.
  7. You can wear the comfy, granny-like underwear, because who cares? Not you.
  8. You don’t have to leave the bar early to call your boyfriend.
  9. You don’t have to explain any of your actions or motives to anyone.
  10. You can have guy friends who don’t just hang out with you because you’re someone’s girlfriend.
  11. You’ll never get cockblocked by FIFA, Halo, COD, or any other video game.
  12. You learn what you want and don’t want in a relationship.
  13. You can laugh at the naivety of freshmen girls who think they will marry their high school boyfriends.
  14. There’s no stroking of male egos.
  15. You don’t have to worry about someone else’s happiness, just yours.
  16. You don’t have to worry about sluts flirting with your guy, because you don’t have one.
  17. There’s no one to ask you, “Why do you need that?” when you get a new vibrator.
  18. Yes, you will go back to that guy’s house for a night swim. Why not?
  19. You can be in a serious relationship with pizza.
  20. You’ll realize your own self-worth instead of depending on a man for it.
  21. The toilet seat is always in the right position.
  22. No one gets pissy about girls’ night.
  23. Want to wear a duct tape bra and skirt to an ABC mixer? You don’t have a boyfriend who will get jealous, so go for it!
  24. You can be selfish without explaining yourself.
  25. You can actually do pretty much anything without needing to explain yourself.
  26. Breakups require so much more energy than they are worth.
  27. You’ll never be accused of being boring, a fun-sucker, or a recluse.
  28. No one likes the girl who always needs a boyfriend.
  29. The only missed calls you’ll have anxiety about are from Mom or Dad.
  30. Don’t feel like shaving? Don’t do it.
  31. Confidence becomes something you exude at all times, not just when you’re with a boy.
  32. You don’t have the anxiety of introducing a boyfriend to your family.
  33. You never have to deal with being asked, “When are you two getting married?”
  34. Or, “When will we be seeing children from you two?”
  35. You have sex only when you want sex, not because your boyfriend really, really wants to and you kind of feel bad, so okay, fine, but only if he’s on top.
  36. Nothing beats seeing relatives’ faces when you tell them you think relationships are a lot like hell when they ask why you’re still single.
  37. You can eat the entire tub of ice cream and use your boobs as a plate for bagel chips while watching Netflix. Who’s going to stop you?
  38. Tinder and the hilarity that comes with it.
  39. You are your own person, not “Mike’s girlfriend.”
  40. “I would love to go to formal with you!”
  41. You’d rather be the girl dancing on the bar than part of the couple whose PDA is in overdrive.
  42. Nothing is more exciting than when that hot guy you met on Friday texts you for the first time.
  43. Apparently boyfriends require maintenance. Don’t you have to, like, feed them…?
  44. You don’t have to worry about sounding crazy or psychotic, because you have no one to be crazy or psychotic about.
  45. There is 89 percent less drama in your life without a boyfriend. It’s science.
  46. College is about finding your bridesmaids, not your groom.

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Hakuna Moscato

Hakuna Moscato (@HakunaMoscato) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move. and Post Grad Problems. A born and raised Maryland girl, she's obsessed with the Baltimore Ravens, Old Bay, and anything that has the Maryland flag pattern on it. She's a newly retired student-athlete and sorority girl, but not quite ready to call herself an adult, especially since she still has to be carried out of bars. With a Long Island in hand, she's ready for whatever life is throwing her way. Maybe.

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