1. You have a Lilly day planner.
2. Three words: the skinny arm.
3. Your bow collection could rival that of a 5-year-old pageant girl.
4. Refusing to drink Pepsi products.
5. XL tees for an XS girl.
6. You know two seasons: Norts and Leggings.
7. “Throw what you know.”
8. Not always making it into the game.
9. Getting drunk for the children. Or the animals. Or the disease. Whatever. It’s for charity.
10. You could paint a cooler with your eyes closed.
11. Glitter, glitter EVERYWHERE.
12. Your maternal instincts kicking in the moment you meet your little.
13. “Bless her heart.”
14. Owning more floral sundresses dresses than a Cape Cod divorcee.
15. Monogrammed everything.
18. More wine.
19. Meeting people for the first time…about fifteen different times.
20. Having approximately 147 best friends.
21. Big hats, little waists.
22. “You’re so pretty. I hate you.”
23. Being on a first name basis with the Hobby Lobby employees.
24. Partying like a Kennedy, voting like a Bush.
25. Only dating “pre” majors.
26. Sorority squat!
27. Making best friends in the bathroom.
28. Perfecting the art of passive aggressive behavior.
29. Never having to buy your own drink.
30. “Always classy. Never trashy.”
31. Referring to girls six months younger than you as “babies.”
32. Being trophy wife material.
33. Vodka and Crystal Light.
34. Spending more on presents for your little than you did on books this semester.
35. Having the brains of Hillary, the class of Jackie, and the appeal of Marilyn.
36. Leaving the pre-game after “just one more shot.”
37. Having more t-shirts than drawer space.