36 Reasons Shacking Is The Absolute Worst


Ah, shacking. “Spending the night unsystematically” if you want a euphemistic description. If you haven’t shacked yet, you will. Sometimes you want to let your freak fly, and other times you just want to canoodle with a stranger, friend, ex, boy you’ve been stalking, etc. Surprisingly, shacking isn’t as glamorous as it sounds. In fact, it actually sucks and you know it.

  1. You wake up confused as to why you aren’t in your own sheets.
  2. When you roll over, you find a random shirtless guy who reeks of whiskey and smoke snoozing away next to you. Definitely judging your standards.
  3. Your friends aren’t responding to your texts or Snapchats saying, “SOS SOS SOS.” Do they even care about your existence and well-being?
  4. You can’t find your car. At all.
  5. In fact, you probably don’t even have your car wherever you are. Who knows? Who needs their car anyway?
  6. You have to wake up your lovely one-night Prince Charming and awkwardly ask him to take you home.
  7. Or you have to walk home, probably in uncomfortable shoes.
  8. You might have lost at least one of your shoes, so if you do walk, you’re going caveman style (barefoot).
  9. And you really loved those shoes.
  10. He doesn’t make you breakfast, which means he’s essentially saying he doesn’t care if you starve.
  11. You feel even more like a skank when you make eye contact with someone’s actual girlfriend as you walk out of the house.
  12. Your morning breath could scare a skunk away. This means there won’t be much communicating with him to redeem you recent actions.
  13. When he gives you a shack shirt (if you’re lucky enough), you’ll forever have a shirt of shame to remind you of your poor decisions. Sure, some girls eventually collect these as trophies, but when you first put it on, you slightly hate yourself.
  14. It’s even worse if he gives you a pair of boxers or gym shorts.
  15. Once you make it to your destination after the walk of shame, witnesses have declared you a slutbag.
  16. Regardless of how infatuated with him you are, no matter what you will no longer stand a chance to be introduced to his mother.
  17. All of his brothers now know you as one of “those chicks.”
  18. Which basically means you’ve created a reputation for yourself, and the only guys in his group of friends who will talk to you are ones who want you on your knees.
  19. Your hair is sexy AF.
  20. Lol jk. You look like you went through hell and back.
  21. As you’re laying silently in bed, you’re sporting a nasty hangover that you can’t cure until your new beau wakes up.
  22. He is definitely not as hot as he was the night before.
  23. You don’t know whether or not to have morning sex.
  24. Probably best if you don’t.
  25. If he wakes up before you do and leaves the room, you practically stop breathing until he returns.
  26. If you were hammered the night before, you will have to ask how far you went. Makeout? BJ? #Buttstuff?
  27. Trying to find your underwear is beyond awkward.
  28. You might end up just giving up on searching altogether.
  29. If you do lose your thong or bra, you know he’s going to keep it for some sick reason, such as decoration.
  30. You have no clue what to do if he asks for your number.
  31. There’s no chance your phone will last much longer before it dies.
  32. Your new nemesis is the pledge that drove you to his place. He took “bros before hoes” literally, and in this case, you’re the ho.
  33. You’ll practically have to hide your face next time you see him on campus.
  34. And it’s even worse when you see him at the bar because he will assume you’re down to do it again.
  35. When you leave to go home you just feel filthy.
  36. This is definitely not a scene out of “The Notebook,” and you will definitely not be finding your happy ending under a stolen street sign hung above his bed.

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Kellie Stritz

Kellie, spelled with an "ie," practically resides at Starbucks even though they have yet to spell her name correctly. She's obsessed with the color pink, Elle Woods, and Bitmoji's. Her biggest accomplishment is breaking the record within her sorority for how many standards hearings she has had without getting kicked out. She spends her free time trying to stay tan (i.e. sunburnt) and stalking people on social media.

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