34 Signs You’re Dangerously Obsessed With “Law And Order: SVU”


  1. You can, and do, recite the intro every single time.
  2. You always try to get the DUN DUN on time, and you’re successful maybe 1 out of 10 times.
  3. You slowly but surely developed a deep emotional bond with Olivia Benson.
  4. You’re still crying about the fact that Olivia and Elliot never got together.
  5. Mostly because Olivia is a beautiful princess and none of the guys she dates are worthy of her time.
  6. You pop a lady bonder every time Detective Stabler gets angry.
  7. Fin’s one-liners are really the only reason you started watching in the first place.
  8. You always predict who’s guilty, and you’re usually right, which terrifies your roommate.
  9. You refer to said guilty person as the “perp.”
  10. You subconsciously believe that every ADA is a tall, skinny blonde woman with glasses.
  11. You automatically recognize the plot within the first minute of any episode.
  12. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” –You, when Benson asked for a new partner.
  13. Regular old “Law and Order” is like non-alcoholic beer: there’s literally no fucking point.
  14. You wish you could adopt Captain Cragen as your grandpa, because he’s just so goddamn wise.
  15. You would pay outrageous sums of money to have Dr. Huang as your personal, on-call psychologist.
  16. Fin and Munch’s bromance makes you ridiculously happy.
  17. You freak the fuck out every time you see a famous extra, because there are SO MANY OF THEM.
  18. You definitely kind of know the Miranda rights by heart.
  19. You sing along with the intro song comes on, even though there are zero lyrics.
  20. Your heart races any time a detective says the word “bitch.”
  21. You seriously considered boycotting when Stabler left because his absence was insanely depressing.
  22. You hold your breath every time Olivia goes under cover, because if she dies your whole world would come crashing down.
  23. You have cancelled multiple social occasions to binge SVU instead.
  24. You feel like you’ve seen so many courtroom scenes that you could be a legitimately gifted lawyer.
  25. Which of course you could not, because you’re too busy watching SVU to study for the LSAT.
  26. Rollins’ weirdly weak southern accent started out annoying, and is still pretty annoying.
  27. You’re livid that there aren’t more seasons on Netflix.
  28. Seriously, where the fuck are seasons 1-12 and why won’t they give them to us?
  29. You would invent an SVU drinking game if the show weren’t so goddamn fantastic sober.
  30. Nick Amaro gives you the warm fuzzies, and you pause the show every time he’s shirtless.
  31. Watching Elliot balance his career and home life is an emotional investment.
  32. Dr. Warner makes you want to enroll in every science class you can fit into your schedule.
  33. Stabler’s tattoos are the reason you keep living.
  34. You can’t go to bed after a new episode starts, because you’ve been hopelessly wedged down the rabbit hole since the 90’s.

Image via Netflix

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Lucky Jo

Lucky Jo is a former and current TSM writer who likes her men how she likes her coffee: way too hot and unforgivably bitter. She graduated from the University of Missouri in 2016, proving that C's do in fact get degrees. She now spends her days working for a social media marketing agency, hiking with her dachshund, and trying to bring back the scrunchie. Hate mail and goat memes can be sent to

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