We’ve all used the line, “I’m too pretty to pay for drinks,” because, well, it’s true. If you pay for your own drinks, you’re a loser. However, the “I’m too pretty” argument has always had some limits. You can get drinks and apps for free, but not your meal. You can get your oil changed, but you’ll still have to pay for new tires. You can get a raise, but you still have to work. Well, most of us do anyway. Laura Fernee from England has officially become the master of the “I’m too pretty” line when she decided that she was too pretty to work and removed herself from the workforce so as not to distract her male coworkers.
Laura, 33, quit her job in scientific research to stay home because she felt was too pretty to work. She would constantly be asked out and guys would buy her presents, which really doesn’t sound that bad to me, but to each her own. She tried to go to work without any makeup on, but she would still get hit on, and she felt her accomplishments weren’t gaining proper recognition in the scientific field because people would be too distracted by her looks to take her work seriously. Her new lack of income isn’t dampening her lifestyle too much, though: her parents now pay the American equivalent of $3,000 in rent and bills, $2,200 for a designer wardrobe, $1,000 on haircuts, $120 for a gym membership, and $1,500 on socializing. Oh, in case you were wondering, that’s PER MONTH. They are literally paying their daughter $7,820 per month to be too pretty to work. I have never been more jealous of anything in my entire life.
Laura, you’re crazy and smart and I love it. You’re basically being a Stepford wife without even having to get married which is so brilliant I’m honestly mad I didn’t think of it first. She’s now using this newfound free time to write a book about women in science and how to stop other female coworkers from being jealous of her so she can get shit done. Hilarious. Laura, if you’re reading this, please include a how-to chapter for me: “How To Get Whatever You Want By Being A Bitch.” You’re my new idol and I love you. Now excuse me while I quit my job and make my boyfriend buy me Loubs….because I can..
[via Daily Mail]