Thank you for keeping me awake when I have to start a paper that’s due tomorrow.
And for keeping me going when I have to attend a party that will last until tomorrow.
Thank you for giving me a reason to wake up in the morning.
And for keeping me from crawling right back into bed.
Thank you for being the epitome of diversity and coming in all shades and colors.
And for being just the right amount of strength I need, whether it’s decaffeinated or extra strong.
Thank you for existing in pumpkin spice form.
And for finding my obsession with you endearing, not creepy.
Thank you for giving me something to do with my hands.
And for keeping me warm in a way no boy ever could.
Thank you for coming in all sizes.
And for not making me feel like a slut because I like it when you’re really big.
Thank you for being hot when I crave your warm touch.
And for keeping it cool when I need to be refreshed.
Thank you for being an international traveler.
And for existing literally every place I go.
Thank you for letting me put whipped cream on you.
And for letting me take a quick lick when no one is looking.
Thank you for making my hangover slightly more bearable.
And for being the perfect complement to any pill I take, be it ibuprofen, birth control, or Adderall.
Thank you for existing in dessert form.
And for understanding the true importance of excelling in cake, ice cream, and milkshakes.
Thank you for giving me a reason to Instagram a cup with my name misspelled on it.
And for the continued goal of getting that gold star.
Thank you for being there for me, whether it’s in my kitchen or across the country.
And for giving me something to do when I need to get out of my house.
Thank you for being low-cal.
And for being one of the few things I love that is actually good for me (minus the organ-destroying Splenda).
Thank you for being there during every first date.
And for helping me judge the guy depending on how he likes you. #IfYouWannaBeMyLoverYouGottaGetWithMyFriends
Thank you for being available at any price range.
And, on a day like today when we should be celebrating YOU, thank you for still always thinking of us and letting us respect and enjoy you for free today at Dunkin, Wawa, and Krispy Kreme. Honestly, if there is anything we love more than you, it’s getting you for free.
Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.