Columns

31 Thoughts You Have While Your Friend Is Getting Hit On

Screen Shot 2014-09-09 at 8.40.02 PM

  1. The cute ones always go for her.
  2. It’s not her fault, but it’s also not okay.
  3. No. I mean, it’s totally okay. It’s cool.
  4. It’s not like it’s her fault.
  5. Or that he’s that cute.
  6. He’s got weird eyebrows.
  7. Ha, like we haven’t all heard that pickup line before.
  8. GOOD ONE, EYEBROWS.
  9. Oh, he works in finance?
  10. He probably has his own cubicle.
  11. I bet he decorates his desk with those lame cat bobbleheads.
  12. HA. CATS.
  13. He’s probably a loser in real life.
  14. Not that I hope he is.
  15. I mean, if she’s actually interested, I want him to be great.
  16. But he’s not her type.
  17. Ohhhh, the fake phone number. Smart move.
  18. He probably thought I have a boyfriend. That’s why he’s so focused on her.
  19. I totally seem like the type of girl who has a boyfriend.
  20. I’m the type of girl who men want to COMMIT to–right?
  21. I’m focusing on me right now, anyway.
  22. I totally wouldn’t have gone out with him even if he had talked to me.
  23. So it’s a good thing he didn’t.
  24. Am I going to be alone forever?
  25. Note to self: you hate cats, no matter what your biological cat lady clock tells you.
  26. Is there such a thing as a dog lady?
  27. Even if there is, I won’t be one.
  28. I’m totally not going to be alone forever.
  29. My prince charming is just still being a frog right now.
  30. Whatever, I’ll find him.
  31. But first, can I just find that bottle of wine?

 

Email this to a friend

ShutUpAndRead

ShutUpAndRead is a mass communications major from a small school in South Carolina that you've probably never heard of. She enjoys reading, long walks on the beach, and judging the Twitterverse. When she's not busy watching videos of sloths or babies dancing to pop music, she can be found pretending to be a princess and working diligently on her MRS degree.

1 Comments You must log in to comment, or create an account
Show Comments

For More Photos and Videos

Latest podcasts

Download Our App

Take TSM with you. Get

New Stories

Load More