31 Signs You Royally Embarrassed Yourself On Halloween Weekend

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  1. You wore a black dress and animal ears.
  2. …and then you got mad when people said you didn’t dress up enough.
  3. Like. Have they never seen “Mean Girls?” You’re a mouse. Duh.
  4. You blacked out at the pre-game and passed out on your couch at 10:19pm.
  5. Sorry, girlfriend, no Halloween pics for you.
  6. You got a $3 Chipotle burrito for lunch and dinner and looked more like ’07 Britney Spears than ’99 Britney Spears.
  7. You woke up at 1:12pm with 17 texts messages asking if you were alive.
  8. Standards emailed you.
  9. …3 times.
  10. Your boyfriend won’t return your texts after you insisted he sleep on the floor of his own room because he “made eye contact with that slut dressed as a snowman.”
  11. You dressed as a snowman.
  12. Actually, you wore any outfit that resembled the movie “Frozen.”
  13. You laughed at the girl in the funny costume. She was comfortable. You probably were not.
  14. You wore shoes you couldn’t walk in and fell UP a flight of stairs.
  15. Plan A entailed using Plan B.
  16. You drunk dialed your mom.
  17. …and your dad.
  18. …and your Chem TA.
  19. You didn’t watch “Hocus Pocus” at least once.
  20. …the eff is wrong with you? You should be ashamed.
  21. You ended up in the ER dressed as a sexy nurse.
  22. You ended up in jail dressed as a sexy cop.
  23. The irony of either scenario is actually lost on you.
  24. Your little had to hold back your hair and tell you to “get it the eff together.”
  25. Your boyfriend had to hold back your hair and tell you to “get it to eff together.”
  26. Spoiler alert: you still did not “get it the eff together.”
  27. Your drunk food didn’t involve at least one piece of candy.
  28. What’s wrong with you? Have you no soul? Calories don’t count on holidays.
  29. You ordered a pizza from the bar.
  30. Kidding. That’s a total power move right there and should be completely applauded.
  31. You got lost on your own campus…that you’ve lived on for 3 years.

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Catie Warren

From Rush To Rehab (@catie__warren) is a semi-fuctioning adult who has been celebrating her 21st birthday for the past three years. She attended college in the nation’s capital and to this day is angry that Pit Bull lied to her, as you cannot, in fact, party on The White House lawn. Prior to her success with TSM, Rehab was most famous for being featured in her hometown newspaper regarding her 5th grade Science Fair Project for which she did not place. In her spare time, she enjoys attributing famous historical quotes to Marilyn Monroe and getting in fights with thirteen year olds on twitter. Email:

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