- He’s planning some super elaborate and adorable way to tell you so you just have to be patient.
He knows how important this step is for your relationship and wants it to be special. He’s sweet like that.
- Like a fancy dinner.
Someplace other than the fast food places and Chili’s he normally takes you to.
- Or a getaway weekend.
The beach. He’s going to tell you “I love you” for the first time on the beach like a fucking movie. Ugh, he’s the best.
- He’s obviously in love with you so he assumes you already know.
He let you change the channel when there was a game on. If that’s not love, you don’t know what is.
- He’s wanted to say it a bunch of times before. You can just tell.
After you did that thing in bed with your mouth? Yeah, he wanted to say it then. It was on the tip of his tongue. Wait, just kidding, it was your tongue that was on the tip of his dick.
- You’re the perfect girlfriend and it’s intimidating to him.
Honestly, there’s no way he can do better than you. He just needs to say it already.
- He’s scared of how much he loves you.
This has to be it. It’s the only explanation.
- It’s too soon.
Okay, maybe a month into the relationship is too soon. But you can just feel it, so that must mean he can just feel it, too.
- He wants to surprise you.
You know what would be a good surprise? Him acknowledging that this relationship is not a waste of time.
- You haven’t met his parents yet.
I guess that’s kind of important.
- He hasn’t met your parents yet.
He just wants to make sure your parents aren’t crazy, and by association, you aren’t crazy, which makes sense.
- He’s just nervous.
Awwwwww. When you think of it like that, it’s kind of cute.
- He loves you. He obviously loves you.
SO WHY HASN’T HE SAID IT YET?
- He wants you to say it first.
He’s going to be waiting a loooooong time, as in FOREVER, if he thinks that’s going to happen.
- He’s not into that mushy-gushy love stuff.
What does that even mean? Love? He’s not into love? Are you dating a robot?
- He’s too busy to think about things like that.
Too busy with things like partying, drinking, making mediocre grades. STFU.
- He doesn’t know if he does yet.
Which mean he could not love you. That’s a real possibility here.
- You left the door open while you went pee.
Was it too soon for that? Are you not there yet?
- You watch too much reality T.V.
Note to self: learn to enjoy sports.
- You don’t let him hang out with his friend enough.
Maybe you should chill with the bombardment of texts on guys’ night.
- You bring up his exes too much.
You just want to know if you’re prettier than all of them, is that too much to ask?
- You’re too available.
Too available for love. It’s a thing, apparently, because that’s what he thinks about you.
- You took too long to get ready and now he probably thinks you’re one of those high maintenance girls.
Which you are. But he doesn’t need to know that, at least not yet. You need to trick him into loving you before you expose all your flaws.
- You’re a bad kisser.
How is one supposed to know when using tongue becomes too much tongue? HOW?!
- You don’t blow him enough.
Your mouth should be on or around his penis 90 percent of the time if you want him to love you. That’s how this works, right?
- You’re a terrible girlfriend.
You’re a narcissistic bitch who doesn’t like blow jays. You wouldn’t want to be with you either.
- He hates you.
Obviously. That’s the only answer as to why he’s not saying those three little words to you at this very moment. Might as well accept that this relationship is over.
- He’s in love with someone else.
How did you not see it earlier? He’s still in love with his ex. That rat bastard.
- He wants to hook up with other girls.
You’re just not enough for him. He’s probably been cheating on you the entire time. What a fucking asshole.
- He’s going to break up with you.
Well. It’s been fun while it lasted. Good riddance and goodbye. Off to find someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated, AKA says “I love you” in a reasonable amount of time.
- Or maybe you’re putting too much pressure on those little three words to actually be present and enjoy your relationship for what it is at the moment.
Don’t think about it too much. It’ll happen when it happens, and when it does, it’ll be perfect..
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