3 Things To Understand If You’ve Been Cheated On


A lot of things should be illegal. Like posting Instagrams while drunk, or being allowed to get bangs even though they look terrible on you. But most of all, I think cheating should be illegal. It hurts so bad, and it feels just as bad (if not worse) as physical harm. One minute, you think you’ve found one of the good ones. The one who’s great with your parents and siblings, someone that gives you butterflies, someone that you can talk about a future. You know, the one that doesn’t exist. Never in your wildest (or scariest) dreams you’d think he’d betray you. But, in this unpredictable life we have, sometimes they do.

My boyfriend of two years recently cheated on me, and I’ve accumulated a few thoughts while managing to cope from the cards I’ve been dealt.

1. We’re young.

If I’ve learned anything in college, it’s that we’re still so young. Yeah, we are entering adulthood by living on our own away from home, but most of us have just left the teens, and two decades of living isn’t a long time. We have a lot of the world to experience, and a lot of ourselves to learn about. Now I’m not making an excuse for my ex-boyfriend cheating on me because he’s “young.” There are plenty of guys out there that wouldn’t cheat on their girlfriends at this age in a college setting. But I do think that a mixture of a party and a girl just didn’t pair well with my ex-boyfriend’s immaturity and insecurities. So, am I really shocked that he gave into temptation? No. But good thing we have the rest of our lives to find someone who doesn’t have to.

2. It’s okay to hate “the other woman”…for a little.

Ah, “the other woman” fury. I know it well. She kissed your boyfriend just as much as he kissed her. She could have shut it down. She may have known he had a girlfriend. Sure, all of this may reflect horribly about the kind of person she is, or that she clearly doesn’t respect other people’s relationships. But you have no control over that. Your boyfriend-of-the-time had the responsibility to control what happened. So do your stalking, but while it’s easy to woman-hate on her, she’s probably wonderful and nice and just made a mistake. Eye roll.

3. Don’t blame yourself.

Everyone says this, but it seriously makes a difference in helping you heal. I look back on the last 2 years and realize that I gave it my all. I poured my heart and soul into everything we did, and a part of me always knew that he didn’t give as much. It’s nice to not have any regrets about your relationship. Meanwhile, your ex-boyfriend probably has many. Be proud of yourself and what you have to offer to someone else one day.

Image via Shutterstock

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