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29 Signs You’re The Bitch Of Your Friend Group

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Every group has one: the huge bitch. For the Sex and the City gals it’s Miranda, for the Friends girls it’s Monica, and for the girls in the soon-to-be released Total Frat Movie, it’s Becca, the president of her sorority and the girlfriend of the token bad boy. While the former two ladies are still endearing and more abrasive than bitchy, Becca is pretty much just your run-of-the-mill bitch. She’s kind of a know-it-all and kind of bossy and kind of, well, you know, a bitch. After watching this movie (so many LOLs) the other night, it got me thinking about what other qualities the token “friend group bitch” has. While there are obviously varying degrees of everyone’s favorite mean girl, you’ll definitely recognize at least a few of the following qualities in either yourself or one of your besties.

  1. You’re the one who’s in charge of telling the creeper at the bar to fuck off.
  2. You’ve said “boo, you whore” more than once.
  3. And you didn’t immediately follow it with “kiddingggggg!”
  4. If a guy buys you a drink and it’s not top shelf, you either turn around and walk away or throw it in his face.
  5. You’ve told your friends who they could and couldn’t date on more than one occasion (cough: Becca from Total Frat Movie).
  6. You have what is so often referred to as “resting bitch face.”
  7. …and you’re really proud of it.
  8. No one has ever used the words “nice” or “bubbly” to describe you.
  9. Guys know better than to call you “sweetheart.”
  10. You’re never the first to apologize after a fight.
  11. Audrey Hepburn is not your idol. Neither is Jackie Kennedy.
  12. You identify more with Rizzo than you do with Sandy when you watch Grease.
  13. You don’t believe in talking behind people’s backs.
  14. …because you obviously would rather just say it to their face.
  15. Sometimes you judge people for doing things you frequently do.
  16. But, like, it’s different when you do it.
  17. “You can’t sit with us.”
  18. “No, seriously. You cannot sit with us.”
  19. You frequently pick fights with your boyfriend just because you’re bored.
  20. You are 100 percent Team Katy in this whole Katy Perry versus Taylor Swift thing.
  21. Actually, you’re 100 percent Team Anyone But Taylor Swift.
  22. You made a girl cry in class when you were in Kindergarten.
  23. …and also every year after that.
  24. You openly roll your eyes at people when they speak to you.
  25. You’ve never said the words “bless your heart.”
  26. …because you’d much rather say “go fuck yourself” — it gets the job done a lot faster.
  27. “Because I said so” is a common phrase in your lexicon (again, cough: Becca from Total Frat Movie).
  28. You only call your parents to ask for money.
  29. Forty-seven of your friends sent this to you saying, “OMG! This is SO you.”

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Catie Warren

From Rush To Rehab (@catie__warren) is a semi-fuctioning adult who has been celebrating her 21st birthday for the past three years. She attended college in the nation’s capital and to this day is angry that Pit Bull lied to her, as you cannot, in fact, party on The White House lawn. Prior to her success with TSM, Rehab was most famous for being featured in her hometown newspaper regarding her 5th grade Science Fair Project for which she did not place. In her spare time, she enjoys attributing famous historical quotes to Marilyn Monroe and getting in fights with thirteen year olds on twitter. Email: catie@grandex.co

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